Friday, November 17, 2006

Despartly Seeking an Interview with Kim Jong Il

I can't fight it any more. My Tiny is turning out to be the world's smallest terrorist, one crayon at a time! Last night, my husband found her downstairs watching cartoons at 4 a.m.

Just now I told her to come upstairs...
"to go to my ballet?!"
"No, because I miss you."
"no mommy, I don't like you!"

I walk downstairs and find stickers all over the floor, the toys, the walls, the mirror...she's taking over the house! Currently she is dictating the Polly Pockets, telling them who is Ariel, who is Flounder, stripping them naked, making them dive into the swimming pool (tupperware)...um you get the idea.

She's taking over the world. And if I don't put a stop to this soon, we're all going to be at the wrong end of her permanent marker. Clearly I haven't interviewed enough generals, enough dictators, enough psychotic mother****s to figure out how to raise a Tiny. I need to get inside her head.

So could someone please help me?!!

7 comments:

  1. Anonymous11:37 AM

    LMAO... I knew one day you'd crack and have to talk about the Little Miss household Terrorist... Too funny. You can always ship her to UT we have lots of walls to color on.

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  2. hey, at least she called you 'mommy' this time

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  3. "Team America: World Police"

    Possibly the most awful, disgusting, revolting, movie that I would ever watch over and over because it makes me laugh so freaking hard at puppets. Kim Jong Il sings a song called "I'm Ronrey (lonley)" Maybe you can gets some ideas on how to handle her from this movie. Or maybe you can just get a few good laughs out of puppets doing awful, awful things.

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  4. I have nothing to say. but that I'm afraid for your things.

    Stop painting. Let her get past her "PHASE" (let's hope) and then paint over all of her "ARTWORK"

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  5. I think you might be on the verge of solving WORLD PEACE! Seriously, once you've found the answer please let the President and Congress in on the solution. Or, maybe we should just fly you to the Middle East and you can straighten out their problems for them too. Hmmm... that makes me wonder... WHERE THE HELL ARE THEIR MOTHERS? Because, seriously, they are ALL overdue for a TIME OUT!

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  6. If you find out let me know. PLEASE! I have a feeling Gianna is following in Tiny's footsteps and they have never even met. Maybe they colaborate behind our backs and are really trying to take over the world just like you said!

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  7. hilarious. i have no advice, but if you find the answer, please, for the love of god, share it.

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Oh come on-- the least you can do is say HELLO!! You didn't come all this way to turn around and walk away, did you? DID YOU??