mid-day DO OVER!

Today was not starting out well...I missed Thanksgiving lunch with Tiny and her Kindergarten class, waiting for Sweetie's class to come an hour later when I got called out for work. It was one of those "drop everything and run" phone calls. I didn't even get to say good-bye or explain to Sweetie why I would not be waiting for her in the school cafeteria.

When I got home a few hours later, both girls were in tears because I had let them down. Not only did I let them down, but they got their feelings HURT. Tiny went so far as to say she wished she wasn't here because then I "would be able to go to Sweetie's lunch and then Bud-duh's lunch and nobody would be left alone". I felt so bad...crawled back into my bed (pillows over top) and cried.


Thankfully there was little time for self-pity. Nannie and Poppie took Tiny to get new shoes, Bud-uh went with Daddy to cub scouts, which left Sweetie and I to enjoy a (spur of the moment) girls night out! We walked to the Chinese restaurant and laughed and giggled and talked and snuggled. Followed by dessert at Dunkin' Donuts...it was so nice to be with her.






*Tonight was in no way a "kiss up" for skipping out on her, though I don't know I can fully express what I am feeling. It was as though I was being given a "do over" to my day. The Lord recognized this need in my life and provided a way to show me I was going to be OK after all. Thank you.

Titles for the day...

Tiny didn't get the memo (hello sunrise!).
Why Handy Manny?!
You wanna do WHAT to my spine?
Anxiety in a needle.
Fix up the car, fix up the mama.
New tires or a vacation in Hawaii?
Who took away my Sunday afternoon nap?
Jacuzzi jets- watch out, they spit!
Pillaging Daddy D.O.'s house, quite the rush!
Time was far spent ; (
Didn't miss a NabloPoMo day- I haven't gone to bed yet! So there.

And my favorite:
Dear Sunday afternoon nap, where the hell were you??

How many days in November??

Well crap...look what I've gotten myself into with Nabloshmopo... I have been on the road all day, need to get some school work done, probably even go to bed and get some much needed rest. Instead, well? Here I am fulfilling my duty.

So I decided to take a trip up north to visit Willy D.O. (aka Daddy). Driving through Tennessee this time of year was...well, to be honest? A little disappointing this time around! I don't know if my outlook was poor (I'm still having some health issues and not much of a happy camper these days) or if all the trees and all the beautiful fall leaves were, well... just dying and rotting leaves, nothing even close to breathtaking as I remember from previous years of making the same drive.

Either I need an attitude adjustment or mother nature does!

Hopefully Willy D.O. will be able to work some doctor magic, get me feeling 110% again, and sprinkle some fairy dust on the trees and make them sparkle for my drive back home Monday. And not this fairy dust...the OTHER kind of fairy dust, ya know, like Tinkerbell and the Sparrowmen? Oh wait, dad doesn't wear green tights either. Damn. Nevermind. Skip the fairy dust part--go right for the touch of gold.

LIKE KING MIDAS!
Yes, that's the one.

p.s. before you go throwing stones at me... I've already done it for you. No need to say you feel my remarks were offensive. (And just for the record, there were men dressed as actual fairies in the pride parade-- hence the jog down memory lane!) So there.

July 10th is a great BIRTH DAY

Just Me changed her password sometime over the past six months...

so I was unable to hack into her blog! Why would she do that?

She's in labor right now. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. It looks like c-section might be next on the agenda for her little man.

I love you JM and can't wait to meet that baby boy!! xxoo

***Update***

baby was born this morning! C-section. I'll write more when I have more details. for now I'm just throwing myself a pity party that I don't get to be there...

Sick...very, very sick.

I have three little petri dishes that go to school every day, (ballet, gymnastics, t-ball, and whatever else they can expose themselves to), and then harbor and grow a cocktail of germs and illnesses just waiting to be compounded by one another and then shared with us.

Strep has been confirmed. Enfluenza has been confirmed. Insomnia is at it's best.

N8 has come home early from work twice now (he doesn't take sick days so you know it's bad!) Tiny has missed school all week, Sweetie will have to miss her long awaited Dr. Suess and Pajama Day at school tomorrow, and I will continue to wear my pajama-of-the-week outfit, stained with antibiotics, Motrin, and cough syrup. Oh- and snot, don't forget the snot.

Strep Happens.
Medication Happens.

Enfluenza Happens.

For Everything else, there's the FINGER.

Umm...I think the Weather is a bit CONFUSED!

It snowed on Wednesday then again today!! And to quote Just Me, I'm not sure but I think hell is finally freezing over!! (not that I think Georgia is a hellish place, but they don't call it HOTLANTA for nothing!)

So of course we spent a lot of time outside in our grossly inadequate gloves, hats, jackets, and tennis shoes so we could build a snowman and take pictures (LOTS of pictures)! The kids were so excited--it was almost magical to them, you could see it in their eyes and hear it in their voices. And I never would have believed it was all real unless we had the pictures and videos to prove it! It's been an amazing week!

A Novel?

So I'm reading this book, "Those Who Save Us," and the story goes back and forth between Germany in the early 1940's and the United States in the late 1990's. The "child," (now a grown woman), begins to remember bits and pieces of her early childhood, mostly from her dreams...but it is amazing to me what children remember and what they completely forget as adults. It got me thinking...

What are some of your earliest childhood memories? I bet they are nothing spectacular or horribly traumatic, right? My memories as a three year old consist of a red door on our old house and fake butterflies on the walls, a blue plastic fridge downstairs somewhere, my mother (a nurse) giving us our immunization shots at home (which I thought was completely normal by the way), once in Oklahoma I remember her wallpapering my room with some girlfriends and I had to stay with a friend the WHOLE.entire.day (it was annoying and made me homesick)...but anything spectacular or traumatic? No.

Once I was old enough to go to school I began to remember my life by grades. Memories of kindergarten, 1st grade, 2nd grade, and so on...with only bits and pieces in between. One particular memory is of my mom helping me get ready for school in the morning. She put my clothes on the heating vent to get warm while she made breakfast, and I wore a blue puffy coat to school that day. Particularly spectacular or horribly traumatic? No.

I remember asking my mom to time me as I ran a circle around the house, practicing for T-ball. I remember sweeping the porch and being afraid of the toads that hid behind the grill. I remember playing with the string from the blinds and teasing my cat. I remember being in the garage as my mom got a pound of ground beef from the deep freezer when a can of juice fell out and landed on her foot- she yelled, and though I knew it wasn't my fault, I apologized for it anyway. Was it anything spectacular or horribly traumatic? NO- but it is a moment I will never forget. I just don't know why.

What is it about a particular experience that forms a lasting memory? I need to know! I worry all the time about the damage I am doing to my kids with the constant mood swings, the ups and downs of depression, my constant fight to find "quiet time" and "leave mommy alone so she can rest" time...how is all of this going to effect my children? What memories will they have of their early childhood when they are 29 years old and reflecting on some book they read spawning a sleepless night filled with worry and dread?? What will my children talk about when they get together 20 years from now and play the "remember when..." game? Will they be talking about their crazy mother and how it's a wonder they all survived without years of therapy?

Will Tiny remember the time I lost my temper because she lost the only picture I had of my grandparents with all three of my children? Will she remember that I completely lost control because it was no where to be found?? Or will she remember the next day, how I tried to comfort her and tell her I was sorry and that it was "no big deal" and that mommy could always get another picture? Will Sweetie remember that I got irritated with her when she couldn't ride her bike without a push? Or that I picked her up late at night and snuggled her, reassuring her that she was the absolute sunshine in my life? Will Bud-duh remember how pissed off I got in the mornings to find he had once again wet his pants and soaked the couch cushions? Or will he remember the lullaby I sang to him every night before he fell asleep?

Perhaps they won't remember any of those things. Perhaps they will only remember the bits and pieces of being a child that make no sense...memories that will have them questioning the reasons behind those lasting impressions years down the road.

And maybe by then I’ll have forgotten the depressing recollections from "early motherhood" and remember only the gratifying facets of raising my children...

Just Because!

Christmas is now less than 2 weeks away...and my mind is constantly racing with everything I still need to do! So I decided to just take a break and post some pics of the reason why my life truly is sooo perfect.

DAD- this IS my gratitude list! ; )

On Becoming a Mother

"...my point is that I haven’t been the mother I always wanted to be. I’ve been overwhelmed by my emotions through these early years. I’ve often felt like I was treading water, biding my time until the waters weren’t as rough so I could finally swim towards shore where I could touch bottom and catch my breath. This week, I’ve begun to notice a change in the current. The water hasn’t been as choppy–or perhaps, I’ve finally built up the endurance to handle it."

-Sleeping Mommy

I can soo relate to this quote! (sleeping mommy, I love you!) Since returning home from our summer vacation, I have been working incredibly hard at becoming the mom I "want to be"-- TRYING to have family dinners together, TRYING not to lose my patience every 5 minutes, TRYING to embrace my children's silly behaviors and LAUGH more often...
I'm sure my children getting older has provided new freedoms, but at the same time, I also feel like I'm better at what I do because I've had years of practice. I truly feel I can handle my CREW with a certain degree of confidence, and you know what? I'm really proud of my little family.

Remind me of this post on days I feel I'm losing it, OK?

On the other hand, who can blame me if I drop the ball completely?? I mean, c'mon, I had a CRASH COURSE in becoming a mother!! 3 kids in under 3 years--wth were we thinking?! Other (sane) moms out there give themselves time to adjust to motherhood-- space them out a bit to ease into their new job but NO, NOT US!--those of us who didn't think that far into the future ended up with a litter
(insert: paid advertisement for birth control!- you're welcome)

p.s. did anyone notice NOT US can be rearranged: NUTSO?!
hmmph. I'm sure there's a reason for that.

OVERLOAD!

This past week has been a frantic one as I tried to get everything ready for our trip out west. Packing. Laundry. Cleaning. Shopping.

Want to know what I've accomplished thus far? Laundry (some), Cleaning (some), Shopping (some), Packing (NONE), Haircuts and Makeovers (CHECK), Photoshop to leave my fellow bloggers with some fantastic pics? (CHECK).

So here you go. My friend cut my hair a couple nights ago (after getting makeovers, VERY fun night) but I didn't get any decent pics. So (of course) I spent my midnight hour taking self photographs in the mirror then photoshopping the crap out of them so they look decent.

Also about an hour before getting the haircut, we tweezed my eyebrows! (ouch) I'm not like Erika who has a set of tweezers in her SUV and is OBSESSED with tweezing her brows! However, after our little makeover it was suggested and voted upon by all in attendance that there is a reason one should become obsessed with thin eyebrows!!

*I'm reminded of A League of Their Own when the girls are at charm school and the Mademoiselle looks at one of the players and says, "eyebrows! thin and separate!" or "there should be two, not one!"

And thus the tweezing began...what do you think?

There was hair EVERYWHERE! Ick.

WHY do I get myself into these things??

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Speaking of haircuts...take a look at what Tiny did to herself--

I know, it could have been worse...but the little imp said "it was too long", and I only found out because there was CHUNKS of hair all over the house! T I N E E E E Y ! ! !

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I hate being gone for nearly a month. It's hard on the kids, it's hard on me. Worst of All, daddy has to stay home due to unforeseen work complications. I HATE it when I have to separate N8 from the munchkins, it breaks my heart...

which explains why last night when I came to bed my heart simply melted:


Sigh...another trip home without my husband.

At least he'll have Damn Dog to keep him company!

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Hope you have a SILLY JULY and

miss us TONS!!!

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Aaah--I almost forgot--

Reva Reva BoBeva, BananaFana fo Feva...

we are HOTT and
DAMN I'm gonna miss you!!

And to my girlfriends in Utah--

I CAN'T WAIT to come and play!!

see ya on the flip side.

The Dads in My Life...

In typical Little Miss fashion, I developed cellulitis in my right knee late Saturday night, and by Sunday morning it was INCREDIBLY painful to walk...even sitting still hurt. I had no idea what was going on, just that it was getting worse every hour. So off to Urgent Care I went...

Um...sorry, honey, I need you to load up all the kids in their pajamas and drop me off at the doctor because I'm broken. Oh- and happy father's day.

An hour and a half later, one antibiotic shot in my left hip (I swear it was yellow gel that she was shoving through that needle and now I walk with a limp on BOTH sides), one bout of nausea and vomiting, one set of crutches, one script of painkillers and one more for antibiotics...I return home to my king size baby blue and chocolate bed.
(sorry had to throw that in there)

In the meantime I leave a frantic message on my dad's voicemail (aka Willy, D.O.) that I am dying...
Oh- and happy father's day.

He called back giving me advice and validating my pain (which is ALWAYS a safe way to handle me when I'm stressed) and promising that it will be OK (another safe way to handle me when I'm fragile).

The dads in my life GET ME. I'm not sure that other people get me the way they do. N8 understands my issues almost as well as my dad does...which makes me love them both
SO VERY MUCH.

comfort, advice, validation, unconditional love, calling me out when I need it, encouraging me to go on when I feel hopeless, throwing in their sense of humor to make me laugh, and trying to keep me sane--whatever it takes, my dad and husband are there for me. thank you.

Happy Father's Day!

p.s. just so you all know how wonderful my husband is...
he insisted on doing everything for me today, including walking Damn Dog. I apologized again, and he said, "don't worry about it. It's Father's Day-- a day for fathers to give back." Sigh...I love that man.

Sorry to have missed you...

Hi! You've reached the house of Little Miss, et. al.
So sorry we missed you.
Nannie is in town (aka my mom, aka the missionary)
and all is right with the world.

Please leave a message and we'll get back to you
as soon as we can.
Thanks and Have a Great Day!!

(---BEEP---)

Better Than Ezra Lyrics

Gotta post while the gettin' is good!

I've been told latey how my blog is all about griping, complaining, venting, bitching, and overall just plain depressing...and people in blogworld must think I'm never happy. This is not true. I feel pretty happy. Really, I do. I like to vent. You know, it's like when you get together with your girlfriends, talk and laugh about the things that bother you, then you can go home and not take those frustrations out on your family?? --Plus I like to have people on my side...you know, my blogworld people. We're all friends here, right?

Anyway--in an effort to prove my happiness, here's some happy news with some happy pictures:

ANOTHER TOOTH! Can you believe it?!

WE ARE SHARKS FANS!! Bite me!

OH- and we are adorable! (Bite me once again)

The park is FUN! No--The Park is TORTURE!

WE ARE ADORABLE and we know it!!

btw Erika, your birthday is over--stop spending money!

Back Off. (just a little rant, don't mind me)

word to the wise:
Continuing to do the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity!!

I love my family. And I will defend them. I've discovered that even when stupid choices are made, I will stick by my family no matter what. And I will defend them as a mama bear defends her cubs. End of story.

In other words, you mess with the bull and you get the horns. This much I promise you.