Tuesday, May 25, 2010

My tuesday ritual...(seems to be anyway)

Hmmm...it's Tuesday and I'm off work from 6 a.m. - 6 p.m. I've enjoyed hanging out in my dorm room. No seriously-- I live with interns. I have four roommates in this place. We share a fridge, a kitchen, a bathroom...everything. I am back in college, living in the dorms, attending bootcamp for midwives! I never imagined that I would be woken up at midnight by stinky food and a roommate insisting I clear off my shelf in the fridge to make room for her tofu and beans. I thought my roommate days were over when I married N8 nearly 12 years ago!

In any case, it has been nice to enjoy the day alone, catching up on emails and resting. Figured I might as well update my blog too, seeing as how I'm leading this double life at the moment.

Lately I've been having the worst stomach pains. I know it's due to the pregnancy, but it seems to be getting worse as time goes on, not better. I received the following counsel from a friend of mine about as knocked up as I am currently... [and my copy/paste is malfunctioning at the moment and I refuse to transcribe the entire email!]

Basically she said morning sickness comes down to one thing, your thoughts. She has to take inventory of her thoughts and feelings when she feels worse vs. when she feels better. Often times the level of stress and anxiety she was feeling or experiencing at the time contributed to her morning sickness. Ergo she encouraged me to let the cat out of the bag, and tell everyone that if they can't say anything nice to not say anything at all...then of course reminded me of my dad's favorite piece of fatherly advice: what anyone thinks of me is none of my damn business!!

So...am I the reason my intestines are in knots?? Will I suddenly feel renewed once I stop hiding the fact that I'm pregnant from the rest of my collegues?? Or will I be faced with new anxiety for having spilled the beans and constantly be worrying about my place in their world?
p.s. and why do I now have that 80's song stuck in my head???

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

very funny...

I haven't logged onto this site since the last time I blogged...which was way back in November. As soon as the web page appeared, I saw a post with a huge "Waiting for Baby" logo...

Ummm...how ironic is it that I am now actually waiting for baby?

Yes, it's true. I am 11 weeks pregnant with Baby #4 and have kept it a secret since we found out on April Fool's day (true story- and it's a long one, maybe I'll share that one down the road).

ANYWAY...once again I have discovered how deeply I miss my anonymous public life. I can spout off now and then on Facebook, but I am still restricted (or guided by my own intuition) to keep some aspects of my life to myself for a while.
Then again, I suppose if I didn't accept all of my 'colleagues' as "FRIENDS" on facebook, I could have more of an open book and I wouldn't have this inner turmoil constantly ruling my posts online!!


Nonetheless, Little Miss will be blogging more often as the next 6 weeks will be quite the challenge for her. [and then some]

p.s. in case you didn't catch the memo...if you are friends with me on facebook, please don't talk about this! I need a place just for me. K thanks.