Just Because!

Christmas is now less than 2 weeks away...and my mind is constantly racing with everything I still need to do! So I decided to just take a break and post some pics of the reason why my life truly is sooo perfect.

DAD- this IS my gratitude list! ; )

i'll let ya know how it turns out

The INSTANT my head hit the pillow...all symptoms of feeling exhausted, overly tired, and sleep deprived VANISHED. Am I tired? Oh no--because that would imply I was actually turning into a normal human being--one that wakes up early, enjoys a productive day, and goes to bed at a reasonable time! NO that would be too simple!

My train of thought went something like this:

tired...long day...why?...oh searched online to find something fun to do as a family for the holidays...then the parade...enjoyed our little outing...but the chicken strips hurt my stomach...the kids liked getting candy and seeing the dogs...my neighbor just got a dog...who else?...oh sweetie's friend from school...her dog died last year...my dad's dog died last year too...that was an awful experience...his bird died too...maybe i'll get him a Fur-real parrot as a joke...sick joke maybe...crap i haven't done any christmas shopping for my brothers...gift cards are good...i love target and old navy...but i want one from best buy--i need jessie's camera and her talent, can't buy that one....damn...n8 needs to install our new printer...i might need it tomorrow...took cute pictures in the leaves...need some photos printed...i still have to work on my sunday school lesson before church...last time i taught was so uninspirational...i was nervous. family was in town....n8's family will be in town for christmas...i wonder what groceries i'll need to have on hand...they are such foodies...giggle...i'm turning into one too...our first christmas was nothing but ham and cheese sandwiches for me! that was so long ago...his dad said i looked like a cancer patient with my new hat...we were so young and stupid...i hated being stupid...high school was stupid...one guy told me he liked to try new flavors of ice cream because he was tired of vanilla...ha! his girlfriend was pissed she got called vanilla...he ended up working for my brother...akward...i dated guys who worked for him...why?...i never did date brian...that would have been weird...i wonder if he has any more kids now...i have more kids now...three to be exact...they are so cute...so damn cute!...i'd be jealous of my cute kids if i were someone else's mother...in fact, i'd just slap myself...giggle...i just cracked myself up and no one is awake to laugh with me...i should try to sleep...how? count sheep? where did that idea come from in the first place? sesame street? nah...it's been longer than that...i should google it...hell i should get up and write all this down...maybe THEN i can finally fall asleep...

UPDATE: I still can't sleep, so I googled my blog. i think it's hilarious that out of the 200 some odd posts, the ones showing on my record has to do with poop, PMS, or inappropriate body parts! Now of course I can't sleep because I'm giggling at some of my previous posts...and again-- NO ONE is awake to laugh with me!!

My Favorite Flower...

Cali Lilies have been my favorite flower since I discovered white daisies were more of a trend in the late 90's than anything else (after all, who doesn't like daisies?) Anyway, when we were first dating, N8 brought me a bouquet of beautiful wild flowers and cali lilies in a long stem box. They were beautiful and later became the grand design for my wedding bouquet.

Today I was flipping through a major fashion magazine and came across an ad for "vaginal rejuvination", apparently it's a big deal and people travel from all over the country to get their umm...yep--their girly parts nipped, tucked, tightened, or lasered because it's simply that big of a deal.

WHY THE HELL ARE THESE TWO TOPICS CONNECTED?!
you tell me-- click here!

-ok, so if the link above doesn't work then click here
you'll just have to scroll down to the middle of the page--the image I'm after is copyright protected or I'd just post it myself!! grrr.

Meeting Her Again for the First Time

I fell in love with my best friend's baby before she was even born and bonded with her the instant I laid eyes on that precious girl because I loved her mother. I had no idea it could ever get any better than that moment. I was wrong.

My niece came to visit for Thanksgiving. The last time I saw her she wasn't even a year old. She celebrated her 2nd birthday a couple months ago...and I never knew just how much I loved her until yesterday. Seeing this little girl for the first time all over again made my heart melt. She has the eyes of my brother, his nose, his facial expressions--and yet the delicate features of her mother. She is MY niece, MY family.

When my big brother (my very first friend, my mentor, my father figure, my confidant, my childhood hero) introduced me to his little girl--I wanted to wrap her up in a cute little bow and keep her forever because she was so much a part of me...I just never knew it until this weekend. Now I understand.

I saw her for the first time all over again, and I fell in love with her more than I ever thought possible.

I Understand.

When you have a child that has some type of delay, whether it's speech related or some other general developmental delay, any bit of progress appears as a monumental milestone.

Just last week I got to see Bud-duh open his carton of milk from the cafeteria all by himself and I wanted every parent in that room to acknowledge this accomplishment and be just as proud of him as I was at that very moment.

So when I read Dooce's post "Got Her Back Against the Record Machine", I completely understood. I get it. My child has just reached the stars.

And I LOVE this little boy!

Are You SURE We're Talking About The Same Kid?

We got Tiny's fall preschool evaluation home the other day, and N8 and I read it together-- guess when we started to laugh?...

Tiny is a very quiet, reserved little girl at school. She usually enjoys playing and spending time with the other children. Sometimes her feelings get hurt and she cries during play. We always work to straighten out these situations. She seems to enjoy our various circle time activities and she often participates in class discussions. Tiny always listens carefully, works hard and follows directions. She is a very well behaved, polite little girl. We do enjoy having her in our class. She is doing very well!

OH REEEEAAALLLLLYYYY?

I Am Normal. Shaddup. I Am Too!

Funny conversation today:

discussing toys with my friend,--(speak up if you wish)--
and somehow she brought up the fact that her Barbie dolls always ended up doing naughty things when they got together!

(light bulb moment)

MINE TOO!! Why is that?! Somehow Barbie was always naked and Ken was on top (fully clothed, go figure)--but that's probably the TRUE reason my husband won't allow Barbies in the house, not that they promote unhealthy body types with big boobs but the fact that they have SEX every chance they get!! Naughty, naughty toys.

*btw, apparently my friend and I are not alone in this-- Just googling for this picture brought up some horrible websites. (and NO--I did not include the words "naughty" or "sex"--I do have some smidgen of decency thank.you.very.much)

That's it- Barbie's out. She's an absolute whore and a disgraceful representative of women everywhere. I'm voting her off the Island.

Only This:

*within the walls of this house is the only place on earth that I am in control. I can worry sick over my children. I can fix the problems that go on within my own home. I can discuss solutions with my husband that will make our lives easier. But I cannot do more than that. If the walls of our house come caving in then I can be the one to jump in the middle of it and fight. If the walls begin to cave in for someone else, then all I can do is offer a prayer.

And that the ONLY thing I can do. I have to recognize that God is in control; otherwise our world would spiral out of control. (and that is just something I am not willing to be held accountable for)

If the shoe FITS...

This year I dressed up as a witch...how appropriate that the only purchase I had to make was the $1.99 hat from Target! (As my friends and family attest--I am a real WITCH lately)

I will wear my shoes proudly and fly away on my broomstick.

And trust me, you DON'T want to be caught in my way-

Still Lost in Thought...

Tonight our women's group got together for Girls Night Out. We were at the same restaurant for nearly 4 hours!! It was so nice (and somewhat amusing) to be with others who could relate to me at this point in my life, especially when that comfort and guidance came from all different walks of life.

Sometimes we get so caught up in our own lives (and the perceptions of how we view other's lives) that we miss out on so much. Every person on this earth has a story to tell. Every person we come in contact with has a history. Every person we pass on the street has a LIFE too.

We shared stories that made us laugh. We shared stories that made us cry. I feel so uplifted and yet at the same time--so incredibly humbled.

"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when [she] discovers that someone else believes in [her] and is willing to trust [her] with [her] friendship."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

So tell me... who's the horse's ass in your life?

or the politically correct: equine heinie?

Apparently I Come with a Warranty

(and NO, jess, that wasn't meant to sound dirty!)

It's true. After hearing a disturbing interview on NPR today regarding faulty pacemakers, my husband left me a message to have mine checked for a Medtronic RECALL.

Seriously? A recall on a piece of equipment that has been IMPLANTED in my HEART for the past 8 years?!--as though I can just simply exchange it for a new one?!

I downloaded the interview from NPR this morning, (which still wasn't totally clear on WHO is in danger of imminent DEATH), but apparently the leads from a particular model have begun to fray--causing them to break off inside the heart. And it took some digging to find the info on Medtronic's site.

By this point I had become somewhat sadistic-- laughing because there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it at the time--and seriously, what kind of bizarre shit happens only to me? isn't it just fitting then that of all people I should be the one to have a frayed lead break off inside my heart?!!

Then I began looking through all of my original paperwork and came across this lovely piece of information and simply DIED LAUGHING!!

After 5 years, I am Shit Out of Luck. Great.

Thanks NPR for giving me the heads up.

*btw, I am NOT one of those patient's with defective equipment. (even if I were, my cardiologist wouldn't remove it because of the risk of doing MORE DAMAGE to my heart--so either way, I'd have been totally screwed!)

**Not sure the point then...it's like the signs you pass going up the canyon roads "Watch out for Falling Rocks!" as if that's going to make all the difference and save a life!!!

You wonder how I feed my addiction?! Apparently I sell drugs to myself.

Previous | Next | Back to Messages Call or Instant Message

To:	littlemissblogspot@yahoo.com
Subject:	Store
From:	littlemissblogspot@yahoo.com

LMAO!

I think Will Ferrel is one sick puppy! But I'm so glad he spends his time making home videos to share with the rest of us on the world wide web!

THE LANDLORD
(CLICK HERE!)


P.S. Princess Reva and Barefoot Belle, you truly are the luckiest girls in the world because you have me in your life. I know, it's the truth.

An Ode To Princess Reva and Barefoot Erika

Do you know how lucky the little miss is? Well let US tell you!

Oh Reva, how do I love thee, let me count thy many great qualities:

Reva thou art ridiculously good looking, lovingly neurotic, always loud and entertaining, a little left-brain challenged, extroverted, confoozled, estrogenated, FAB-BUL-OUS, unflatulent (too bad), incredibly musical (in fact I hear she still gots it!), hilarious, magnanimous, friend whore, cuddle whore (not sure we needed that information, what am I talking about? of course we do!), Ikea whore, chaste and a sexysexybeast. What more could a girl want???

Maybe a little Erika to go along with it:

Erika thou art pushy and insightful, distant but entertaining, LSU loving, headquarter remolding fool (did I mention my new bath tub?). Thy toes are ALWAYS painted, and she loves her some Barenaked Ladies (who doesn't?), Thy new camera completes her in ways she never imagined possible. Thy gazelle like intensity and complete lack of focus always makes things entertaining, to say the least. In short, never a dull moment, weather you need one or not.

Oh fair ladies, how lucky indeed is the little miss.

*this post was written by DRY Ink administration, with help from Princess Reva and based upon an idea of Princess Reva's in order not to have to look at the previous post for another damn minute! Okay and maybe to entertain ourselves just a little.

Do you know How LUCKY I AM?~ let me just tell you.

Honestly. This is going to sound soo cheesy, but I'm the luckiest person in the world (or the most blessed, or the most pittied) either way...you ought to be jealous.

Seriously. I have the greatest friends a girl could EVER have. I don't have to worry about letting them get too close...because I won't be judged. I don't have to worry about losing their trust...because they've got mine. My friends (and you know DAMN WELL who you are!!) make my world complete. I can e-mail you simply to say my mom's "best friend" is a horrible human being, sign off with ON THAT NOTE, I love you! and not worry about what I just wrote. I can call you simply to ask you to jump online and look up a phone number for me because I'm driving around town, and though you are 2,000 miles away--you still do it. And I don't have to feel guilty that that was the extent of our conversation. I can call and leave you a voicemail to let you know I miss you and ramble on about some insignificant details of my day...and not worry that you are going to think I just wasted three minutes of your time talking about scrubbing the toilets and walking to the mailbox in 107 degree heat because it's hotter than HELL down here...

and for those of you who can read this post and not judge me for being a total spaz are right up there with the best of them! I love my girlfriends.

YOU MAKE ME HAPPY.

Hmmm...

I had a good post.
I looked forward to blogging
once my munchkins went to bed.
Then...my mind went blank.

BLANK! nuthin' here.

nada.

where'd she go?!
where'd who go?!

*where the hell did I get that from?

On Becoming a Mother

"...my point is that I haven’t been the mother I always wanted to be. I’ve been overwhelmed by my emotions through these early years. I’ve often felt like I was treading water, biding my time until the waters weren’t as rough so I could finally swim towards shore where I could touch bottom and catch my breath. This week, I’ve begun to notice a change in the current. The water hasn’t been as choppy–or perhaps, I’ve finally built up the endurance to handle it."

-Sleeping Mommy

I can soo relate to this quote! (sleeping mommy, I love you!) Since returning home from our summer vacation, I have been working incredibly hard at becoming the mom I "want to be"-- TRYING to have family dinners together, TRYING not to lose my patience every 5 minutes, TRYING to embrace my children's silly behaviors and LAUGH more often...
I'm sure my children getting older has provided new freedoms, but at the same time, I also feel like I'm better at what I do because I've had years of practice. I truly feel I can handle my CREW with a certain degree of confidence, and you know what? I'm really proud of my little family.

Remind me of this post on days I feel I'm losing it, OK?

On the other hand, who can blame me if I drop the ball completely?? I mean, c'mon, I had a CRASH COURSE in becoming a mother!! 3 kids in under 3 years--wth were we thinking?! Other (sane) moms out there give themselves time to adjust to motherhood-- space them out a bit to ease into their new job but NO, NOT US!--those of us who didn't think that far into the future ended up with a litter
(insert: paid advertisement for birth control!- you're welcome)

p.s. did anyone notice NOT US can be rearranged: NUTSO?!
hmmph. I'm sure there's a reason for that.

Is This Goodbye?

Oh, I have been dreading this moment. It happened so suddenly and without warning. I'm just still not sure I'm truly ready to say goodbye...

It all started 11 days ago when my stomach was attacked by
some unknown virus. This evil bug has caused cramping, vomiting, and
diarrhea for days on end, making it damn near impossible (or simply not worth it) to
eat or drink much of anything.

As a result, my Coke Zero intake completely diminished, as
did my other fave, Diet Dr. Pepper. Today is the first "normal" day I've
had in 11 days...now the big question. I have neglected my caffeine
addiction for 11 days, suffered through headaches and irritability, late nights
and lack of sleep, and drowsiness throughout
every.single.day.

Having gone this long without ANY caffeine, do I simply say goodbye and allow only memories of the good ole days to get me through those early mornings and late nights?

Or do I stock up on fridge packs of Coke Zero and DDP and make up for lost time??!!

THAT IS THE QUESTION.

Travel Hangover

Well folks, we made it. We actually got on the plane this time and made it through Houston (stopping 3 times to use the bathroom but hey-I'm getting pretty familiar with the back of bathroom door stalls- remember in middle school? how they use to put ads on the back of doors? Like the school news and adds for tampons? whatever happened to such great advertising?) Anyway, I bought the munchkins a new toy before we left. And can I just tell you it was the best $15 ever spent?! Sweetie got a new horse, Bud-duh got some new dinosaurs, and Tiny got new Polly Pocket girls--kept them entertained for HOURS. Hey-I am sooo not past bribery! Anyway, I am thrilled to be back home. Even damn dog was so excited to see us last night that she kept falling over! I totally have travel hangover but at least it's better than the twilight zone that was my life--being stuck in Utah with sick kids and no luggage. My only saving grace was having Loralee and Jenn come to my rescue Monday night to celebrate my birthday--though once again I saw the back of bathroom doors more times than I care to see ever again--we still had a good time. Good chick flick, yummy food, cute pics (we are still camera whores after all).

Life is sooo not fair.

We slept well last night, the alarm went off at 5 a.m. No puking, no pooping, no worries. Right?Checked in online, began printing our boarding passes. Tiny PUKES in the living room.

Cleaned up, let's get in the car anyway because I.have.just.checked.in!
Not even five minutes later, Sweetie is running a fever and crying. Then she too PUKES in the living room.

Nevertheless, we push on...because
I have already checked in!

We make it to the airport, walk up to the ticket counter, Tiny PUKES all over and I have to drop everything and RUN to the garbage can. Meanwhile Bud-duh is crying because mommy left, Sweetie is asleep on the floor, and a nice man from the next line over is busy trying to clean up my purse and things strewn everywhere from the ticket counter to the garbage can.

Alright. I get it. We are supposed to be trapped in Utah HELL. We are all suppose to suffer from horrible tummy cramps, puking and pooping until we are all too weak to stand up, AND we are to be trapped here until Tuesday afternoon (without any luggage, I might add)! This is great. Freakin' wonderful (after all, I am in Utah--what did you expect? The F bomb? Heck no!)

$#@$%**&^%$#@@#&!

And you want to know the worst part? My birthday is Monday and as fate would have it, I'll still be puking up everything I eat!! This is supposed to be my BIG birthday, the one I've looked forward to all my life. And I don't even get to be home to celebrate it!

No, I'm not turning 21, I don't care if I can drink or not.
No, I'm not turning 25, I don't care if I can rent a car.
No, I'm not turning 30, I don't give a rat's ass
about being three decades old!

I am turning 29-- the age I will be for the rest of my life! I will be forever 29 and what do I have to show for it? A bucket of puke, sharted underwear, and cranky sick kids who miss their daddy almost as much as I do!!!

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to run to the bathroom before this rant REALLY gets ugly.

Up a creek without a paddle (or a suitcase or underwear or toothbrushes)

Headed to the airport today only to have our flight home delayed by 45 minutes. And not only was it late taking off but they wanted us to BOARD the plane. and sit on the runway. the. entire. "delayed" 45 minutes. until weather cleared up in Houston---(um, insert fave quote here: Houston, we have a problem!)

With only an hour layover in Houston, that left very little time for a mom traveling alone with three little rotten, screaming, crying, tired, ornery, fighting, cute munchkins to make their connecting flight. And I will NOT be stuck in Houston. Alone. With 3 kids! Do I want to take that risk?! Um...Negative Ghostwriter the pattern is full.

So I will now be headed home Saturday morning at the ass crack of dawn, and our luggage will be sitting in lockup at the airport until then. Good times!

UPDATE:

Sweetie woke up at 3 a.m. barfing into the sink!! Then she spent the rest of the morning on the toilet--now my stomach is all crampy and I am hating life!! If the younger two get this virus, then someone PLEASE just shoot me, ok? I cannot do this.

My stomach HATES me.

I have a headache, fever, and chills.

And I fly out tomorrow morning at the ass crack of dawn.

Did I mention my life SUCKS right now?!

don't read this--

RECAP at Loralee's!!

She did such a fabulous job posting about our weekend getaway...wait, it was only one night-- and a Tuesday night at that! Oh well. It was fun. Wish you all could have been there. I'll post my set of pics as soon as I can get them off my memory card--

As I tried to fall asleep last night, I had images of GREAT blog posts dancing in my head--only I was too damn tired to remember any of them the morning after. So there you go.

Off to Looney Tunes, my friends! MWAH.

p.s. don't forget to check out the sideblog-- the funniest ringtone EVAh.

Ring, ring ring!! LMAOOOO!!

When I was in college, I always prayed to marry the man I love. Years later I learned to pray to love the man that I married.

Can I just say how lucky I am to have my husband? Someone who is faithful. Loves me unconditionally. Puts up with my moods. Loves our children as much as I do, would give his life for any one of them. Trusts me with all his heart. Brags about me to his coworkers (and uses me as perfect examples when teaching psychology to undergrads--but we'll just skip over that part!). He loves me! And I love him so much that thinking about him now gives me butterflies in my stomach!

But you know what?-- that love doesn't come naturally, and you're a fool if you think it does! It takes practice. It takes patience. And you have to be humble, lose the pride and recognize how good you really have it!

Because I do.

OVERLOAD!

This past week has been a frantic one as I tried to get everything ready for our trip out west. Packing. Laundry. Cleaning. Shopping.

Want to know what I've accomplished thus far? Laundry (some), Cleaning (some), Shopping (some), Packing (NONE), Haircuts and Makeovers (CHECK), Photoshop to leave my fellow bloggers with some fantastic pics? (CHECK).

So here you go. My friend cut my hair a couple nights ago (after getting makeovers, VERY fun night) but I didn't get any decent pics. So (of course) I spent my midnight hour taking self photographs in the mirror then photoshopping the crap out of them so they look decent.

Also about an hour before getting the haircut, we tweezed my eyebrows! (ouch) I'm not like Erika who has a set of tweezers in her SUV and is OBSESSED with tweezing her brows! However, after our little makeover it was suggested and voted upon by all in attendance that there is a reason one should become obsessed with thin eyebrows!!

*I'm reminded of A League of Their Own when the girls are at charm school and the Mademoiselle looks at one of the players and says, "eyebrows! thin and separate!" or "there should be two, not one!"

And thus the tweezing began...what do you think?

There was hair EVERYWHERE! Ick.

WHY do I get myself into these things??

***************************

Speaking of haircuts...take a look at what Tiny did to herself--

I know, it could have been worse...but the little imp said "it was too long", and I only found out because there was CHUNKS of hair all over the house! T I N E E E E Y ! ! !

*************************

I hate being gone for nearly a month. It's hard on the kids, it's hard on me. Worst of All, daddy has to stay home due to unforeseen work complications. I HATE it when I have to separate N8 from the munchkins, it breaks my heart...

which explains why last night when I came to bed my heart simply melted:


Sigh...another trip home without my husband.

At least he'll have Damn Dog to keep him company!

**************************

Hope you have a SILLY JULY and

miss us TONS!!!

**********************

Aaah--I almost forgot--

Reva Reva BoBeva, BananaFana fo Feva...

we are HOTT and
DAMN I'm gonna miss you!!

And to my girlfriends in Utah--

I CAN'T WAIT to come and play!!

see ya on the flip side.

THANKS TO THE RED, WHITE, & BLUE (and the orange, yellow, green, and purple)

After getting a GPS system yesterday, my Dad (aka Willy D.O.) and I decided to "get lost" downtown and let Magi take us home. (Magi is what I named my Magellan navigation system). We took a random exit off the interstate and saw crowds of people everywhere, streets were blocked off, police were on every corner...

then we realized--IT'S PRIDE WEEKEND!!

How could we skip out on such a cultural opportunity?! So of course we parked the car, joined the crowds, enjoyed a flamboyant parade, and then had a nice leisurely lunch on the patio of a local tavern!! It was AWESOME!!

*this all happened after spending the morning at a gun show and buying Coach and Prada bags for under $100 while N8 took the kids to church by himself-- I know, I know...I'm such a decent human being.

Other title considered for this post:

--Nothing Says the Sabbath Like Guns, Knock offs,

Taverns, and Flamboyancy!!

A Boy's Gotta Learn Some Time...

Is it wrong to blog about my son discovering "shrinkage"?! Well, I think Erika said it best when she said, all is fair in parenting and blogging.


AND...WELL, IN THAT CASE...

We just got back from the pool when I told miles he needed to go potty. He pulled down his swimming trunks and laughed!

"hey mommy!! mommy!! look!! look!! my penis got fat!!!"

(and impressed that he learned something new, I giggled and said, yes, Bud-duh, that's what happens when you go swimming and the water is cold--)

He laughed some more and said, "hey mommy!! my penis has water in it!! And that makes it fat!! hahhahaaa!!!"

(um, not exactly son...but we'll save THAT talk for another day! Like-- the day you get married!!)

CRUNCHY?

The girls were looking at pictures on dad's laptop (screensavers) and giggling like...well, like um, little girls. Anyway, when they see a picture of Bud-duh they start LAUGHING (not sure why, probably because most of the pics are from when he was a baby)...

Tiny points and laughs-
look at crunchy Bud-duh!! He's soo silly!

Um, I think you mean chubby Bud-duh.
--hee hee, NO, crunchy bud-duh! He's so very crunchy!

and when I find the camera that TINY has hidden...
I will upload a couple pictures.
Grrr, she is such a Stitch.

--update--

nevermind, I found it in the playroom.

The Dads in My Life...

In typical Little Miss fashion, I developed cellulitis in my right knee late Saturday night, and by Sunday morning it was INCREDIBLY painful to walk...even sitting still hurt. I had no idea what was going on, just that it was getting worse every hour. So off to Urgent Care I went...

Um...sorry, honey, I need you to load up all the kids in their pajamas and drop me off at the doctor because I'm broken. Oh- and happy father's day.

An hour and a half later, one antibiotic shot in my left hip (I swear it was yellow gel that she was shoving through that needle and now I walk with a limp on BOTH sides), one bout of nausea and vomiting, one set of crutches, one script of painkillers and one more for antibiotics...I return home to my king size baby blue and chocolate bed.
(sorry had to throw that in there)

In the meantime I leave a frantic message on my dad's voicemail (aka Willy, D.O.) that I am dying...
Oh- and happy father's day.

He called back giving me advice and validating my pain (which is ALWAYS a safe way to handle me when I'm stressed) and promising that it will be OK (another safe way to handle me when I'm fragile).

The dads in my life GET ME. I'm not sure that other people get me the way they do. N8 understands my issues almost as well as my dad does...which makes me love them both
SO VERY MUCH.

comfort, advice, validation, unconditional love, calling me out when I need it, encouraging me to go on when I feel hopeless, throwing in their sense of humor to make me laugh, and trying to keep me sane--whatever it takes, my dad and husband are there for me. thank you.

Happy Father's Day!

p.s. just so you all know how wonderful my husband is...
he insisted on doing everything for me today, including walking Damn Dog. I apologized again, and he said, "don't worry about it. It's Father's Day-- a day for fathers to give back." Sigh...I love that man.

I MIGHT have (possibly) peed my pants. MAYBE. just a little.

MOVING day at Princess Reva's might have been quite eventful. I probably went to her house to help unpack and break down boxes to declutter the kitchen. I bet I even stacked the boxes into one big pile, waiting to be taken downstairs for the garbage man. I probably then TRIED to step over the pile, failing miserably, and I just might have slipped and lost my balance in three different directions as the piles of boxes slid on top of one another until finally the bottom box was sent flying across the hardwood floor, landing me FLAT on my ASS.

And I might have (possibly) peed my pants. And if I didn't pee my pants on the way down, then I probably did it in between fits of laughter and tears. And if I didn't pee my pants because of the laughter or the pain, then I probably peed them a little when Princess Reva's baby SCREAMED at me as I rolled around in hysterical fits of laughter and well...pure CRAZINESS, scaring the living bejeebers out of her!

*Princess Reva might have thought I was kidding about NOT stepping on those boxes...and she just might have found herself FLAT on her back within minutes. She MIGHT have peed her pants too. I'm just sayin...

A Tiny Haiku

Tiny's bed did bounce.
She fell off, she bumped her head.
She cried, mama came.

Then she looked up at me (between sobs) and said,
"you have dirt on your eyelashes?!"
no.
"yes you do. (sniff, sniff) it's eyelash dirt!"
no. it's mascara.
"scare-ah? (little sobs) you have scare-ah on...your...eyes?"
yes.
"i don't like that. (sniff and sob) it makes me cry (whah!)."

Embarrassed now?--how 'bout now?

When my husband calls from work, he generally puts me on speakerphone. I get that he is busy and trying to do several things at once, but I HATE being on speakerphone.

So for the 3rd time today, he calls. I answer. He has me on speakerphone. He says, "I forgot to tell you something earlier."

to which I promptly reply:
You want to HAVE SEX with me?!!

*needless to say, he picked up the phone immediately.

No, I Did Not Slap Her!

Anyone remember the Funkwatch '07? (click here)

Apparently there was no flesh eating virus or killer mosquito ants that secretly attacked without notice...nope! The girl cherub brought it with her! Sweetie hadn't been feeling well this week (I could tell because she was *overly sensitive and tired* haha--those who know me will know why I laughed at that) by Wednesday night she had a fever, crying that her tummy and throat hurt, by Friday afternoon she was lethargic and vomiting. By Saturday morning she was peachy keen and happy as ever...but by Saturday night, she looked like this:

*she no longer has any symptoms of being sick, just

this 'slap yo mama' red marking all over her face and chest. my dad (aka willy, D.O.) said it is Fifth Disease, an immune reaction that occurs after an infection has passed.

Unfortunately the rash may last for a couple of weeks, leaving plenty of time for social services to come knocking on my door...

Kids Bored This Summer?

HA--send them to vacation bible school!! My kids now sing rodeo songs about Jesus and do line dances to the theme

"Avalanche Ranch: A wild ride through God's word!"
whoo whooo. it is A.W.E.S.O.M.E.

*hey, at least they aren't home with me!

*they had such an amazing time!

Sweet yet Sassy-this is for you:

SADDLE UP YOUR HORSES!! (sing it with me!!)