Monday, December 10, 2007
DAD- this IS my gratitude list! ; )
Sunday, December 09, 2007
My train of thought went something like this:
tired...long day...why?...oh searched online to find something fun to do as a family for the holidays...then the parade...enjoyed our little outing...but the chicken strips hurt my stomach...the kids liked getting candy and seeing the dogs...my neighbor just got a dog...who else?...oh sweetie's friend from school...her dog died last year...my dad's dog died last year too...that was an awful experience...his bird died too...maybe i'll get him a Fur-real parrot as a joke...sick joke maybe...crap i haven't done any christmas shopping for my brothers...gift cards are good...i love target and old navy...but i want one from best buy--i need jessie's camera and her talent, can't buy that one....damn...n8 needs to install our new printer...i might need it tomorrow...took cute pictures in the leaves...need some photos printed...i still have to work on my sunday school lesson before church...last time i taught was so uninspirational...i was nervous. family was in town....n8's family will be in town for christmas...i wonder what groceries i'll need to have on hand...they are such foodies...giggle...i'm turning into one too...our first christmas was nothing but ham and cheese sandwiches for me! that was so long ago...his dad said i looked like a cancer patient with my new hat...we were so young and stupid...i hated being stupid...high school was stupid...one guy told me he liked to try new flavors of ice cream because he was tired of vanilla...ha! his girlfriend was pissed she got called vanilla...he ended up working for my brother...akward...i dated guys who worked for him...why?...i never did date brian...that would have been weird...i wonder if he has any more kids now...i have more kids now...three to be exact...they are so cute...so damn cute!...i'd be jealous of my cute kids if i were someone else's mother...in fact, i'd just slap myself...giggle...i just cracked myself up and no one is awake to laugh with me...i should try to sleep...how? count sheep? where did that idea come from in the first place? sesame street? nah...it's been longer than that...i should google it...hell i should get up and write all this down...maybe THEN i can finally fall asleep...
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Today I was flipping through a major fashion magazine and came across an ad for "vaginal rejuvination", apparently it's a big deal and people travel from all over the country to get their umm...yep--their girly parts nipped, tucked, tightened, or lasered because it's simply that big of a deal.
WHY THE HELL ARE THESE TWO TOPICS CONNECTED?!
you tell me-- click here!
-ok, so if the link above doesn't work then click here
you'll just have to scroll down to the middle of the page--the image I'm after is copyright protected or I'd just post it myself!! grrr.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
My niece came to visit for Thanksgiving. The last time I saw her she wasn't even a year old. She celebrated her 2nd birthday a couple months ago...and I never knew just how much I loved her until yesterday. Seeing this little girl for the first time all over again made my heart melt. She has the eyes of my brother, his nose, his facial expressions--and yet the delicate features of her mother. She is MY niece, MY family.
When my big brother (my very first friend, my mentor, my father figure, my confidant, my childhood hero) introduced me to his little girl--I wanted to wrap her up in a cute little bow and keep her forever because she was so much a part of me...I just never knew it until this weekend. Now I understand.
I saw her for the first time all over again, and I fell in love with her more than I ever thought possible.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
So when I read Dooce's post "Got Her Back Against the Record Machine", I completely understood. I get it. My child has just reached the stars.
And I LOVE this little boy!
Friday, November 16, 2007
Tiny is a very quiet, reserved little girl at school. She usually enjoys playing and spending time with the other children. Sometimes her feelings get hurt and she cries during play. We always work to straighten out these situations. She seems to enjoy our various circle time activities and she often participates in class discussions. Tiny always listens carefully, works hard and follows directions. She is a very well behaved, polite little girl. We do enjoy having her in our class. She is doing very well!
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Funny conversation today:
discussing toys with my friend,--(speak up if you wish)--
and somehow she brought up the fact that her Barbie dolls always ended up doing naughty things when they got together!
(light bulb moment)
MINE TOO!! Why is that?! Somehow Barbie was always naked and Ken was on top (fully clothed, go figure)--but that's probably the TRUE reason my husband won't allow Barbies in the house, not that they promote unhealthy body types with big boobs but the fact that they have SEX every chance they get!! Naughty, naughty toys.
*btw, apparently my friend and I are not alone in this-- Just googling for this picture brought up some horrible websites. (and NO--I did not include the words "naughty" or "sex"--I do have some smidgen of decency thank.you.very.much)
That's it- Barbie's out. She's an absolute whore and a disgraceful representative of women everywhere. I'm voting her off the Island.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
I will wear my shoes proudly and fly away on my broomstick.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Sometimes we get so caught up in our own lives (and the perceptions of how we view other's lives) that we miss out on so much. Every person on this earth has a story to tell. Every person we come in contact with has a history. Every person we pass on the street has a LIFE too.
We shared stories that made us laugh. We shared stories that made us cry. I feel so uplifted and yet at the same time--so incredibly humbled.
"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when [she] discovers that someone else believes in [her] and is willing to trust [her] with [her] friendship."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Monday, October 22, 2007
Monday, October 15, 2007
Seriously? A recall on a piece of equipment that has been IMPLANTED in my HEART for the past 8 years?!--as though I can just simply exchange it for a new one?!
I downloaded the interview from NPR this morning, (which still wasn't totally clear on WHO is in danger of imminent DEATH), but apparently the leads from a particular model have begun to fray--causing them to break off inside the heart. And it took some digging to find the info on Medtronic's site.
By this point I had become somewhat sadistic-- laughing because there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it at the time--and seriously, what kind of bizarre shit happens only to me? isn't it just fitting then that of all people I should be the one to have a frayed lead break off inside my heart?!!
Then I began looking through all of my original paperwork and came across this lovely piece of information and simply DIED LAUGHING!!
*btw, I am NOT one of those patient's with defective equipment. (even if I were, my cardiologist wouldn't remove it because of the risk of doing MORE DAMAGE to my heart--so either way, I'd have been totally screwed!)
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
P.S. Princess Reva and Barefoot Belle, you truly are the luckiest girls in the world because you have me in your life. I know, it's the truth.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Oh Reva, how do I love thee, let me count thy many great qualities:
Reva thou art ridiculously good looking, lovingly neurotic, always loud and entertaining, a little left-brain challenged, extroverted, confoozled, estrogenated, FAB-BUL-OUS, unflatulent (too bad), incredibly musical (in fact I hear she still gots it!), hilarious, magnanimous, friend whore, cuddle whore (not sure we needed that information, what am I talking about? of course we do!), Ikea whore, chaste and a sexysexybeast. What more could a girl want???
Maybe a little Erika to go along with it:
Erika thou art pushy and insightful, distant but entertaining, LSU loving, headquarter remolding fool (did I mention my new bath tub?). Thy toes are ALWAYS painted, and she loves her some Barenaked Ladies (who doesn't?), Thy new camera completes her in ways she never imagined possible. Thy gazelle like intensity and complete lack of focus always makes things entertaining, to say the least. In short, never a dull moment, weather you need one or not.
Oh fair ladies, how lucky indeed is the little miss.
*this post was written by DRY Ink administration, with help from Princess Reva and based upon an idea of Princess Reva's in order not to have to look at the previous post for another damn minute! Okay and maybe to entertain ourselves just a little.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Monday, August 13, 2007
Thursday, August 09, 2007
"...my point is that I haven’t been the mother I always wanted to be. I’ve been overwhelmed by my emotions through these early years. I’ve often felt like I was treading water, biding my time until the waters weren’t as rough so I could finally swim towards shore where I could touch bottom and catch my breath. This week, I’ve begun to notice a change in the current. The water hasn’t been as choppy–or perhaps, I’ve finally built up the endurance to handle it."
Remind me of this post on days I feel I'm losing it, OK?
I can soo relate to this quote! (sleeping mommy, I love you!) Since returning home from our summer vacation, I have been working incredibly hard at becoming the mom I "want to be"-- TRYING to have family dinners together, TRYING not to lose my patience every 5 minutes, TRYING to embrace my children's silly behaviors and LAUGH more often...
I'm sure my children getting older has provided new freedoms, but at the same time, I also feel like I'm better at what I do because I've had years of practice. I truly feel I can handle my CREW with a certain degree of confidence, and you know what? I'm really proud of my little family.
On the other hand, who can blame me if I drop the ball completely?? I mean, c'mon, I had a CRASH COURSE in becoming a mother!! 3 kids in under 3 years--wth were we thinking?! Other (sane) moms out there give themselves time to adjust to motherhood-- space them out a bit to ease into their new job but NO, NOT US!--those of us who didn't think that far into the future ended up with a litter
(insert: paid advertisement for birth control!- you're welcome)
p.s. did anyone notice NOT US can be rearranged: NUTSO?!
hmmph. I'm sure there's a reason for that.
Sunday, August 05, 2007
It all started 11 days ago when my stomach was attacked by
some unknown virus. This evil bug has caused cramping, vomiting, and
diarrhea for days on end, making it damn near impossible (or simply not worth it) to
eat or drink much of anything.
As a result, my Coke Zero intake completely diminished, as
did my other fave, Diet Dr. Pepper. Today is the first "normal" day I've
had in 11 days...now the big question. I have neglected my caffeine
addiction for 11 days, suffered through headaches and irritability, late nights
and lack of sleep, and drowsiness throughout
Having gone this long without ANY caffeine, do I simply say goodbye and allow only memories of the good ole days to get me through those early mornings and late nights?
Or do I stock up on fridge packs of Coke Zero and DDP and make up for lost time??!!
THAT IS THE QUESTION.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Cleaned up, let's get in the car anyway because I.have.just.checked.in!
Not even five minutes later, Sweetie is running a fever and crying. Then she too PUKES in the living room.
Nevertheless, we push on...because
I have already checked in!
We make it to the airport, walk up to the ticket counter, Tiny PUKES all over and I have to drop everything and RUN to the garbage can. Meanwhile Bud-duh is crying because mommy left, Sweetie is asleep on the floor, and a nice man from the next line over is busy trying to clean up my purse and things strewn everywhere from the ticket counter to the garbage can.
Alright. I get it. We are supposed to be trapped in Utah HELL. We are all suppose to suffer from horrible tummy cramps, puking and pooping until we are all too weak to stand up, AND we are to be trapped here until Tuesday afternoon (without any luggage, I might add)! This is great. Freakin' wonderful (after all, I am in Utah--what did you expect? The F bomb? Heck no!)
And you want to know the worst part? My birthday is Monday and as fate would have it, I'll still be puking up everything I eat!! This is supposed to be my BIG birthday, the one I've looked forward to all my life. And I don't even get to be home to celebrate it!
No, I'm not turning 21, I don't care if I can drink or not.
No, I'm not turning 25, I don't care if I can rent a car.
No, I'm not turning 30, I don't give a rat's ass
about being three decades old!
I am turning 29-- the age I will be for the rest of my life! I will be forever 29 and what do I have to show for it? A bucket of puke, sharted underwear, and cranky sick kids who miss their daddy almost as much as I do!!!
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to run to the bathroom before this rant REALLY gets ugly.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
With only an hour layover in Houston, that left very little time for a mom traveling alone with three little rotten, screaming, crying, tired, ornery, fighting, cute munchkins to make their connecting flight. And I will NOT be stuck in Houston. Alone. With 3 kids! Do I want to take that risk?! Um...Negative Ghostwriter the pattern is full.
So I will now be headed home Saturday morning at the ass crack of dawn, and our luggage will be sitting in lockup at the airport until then. Good times!
Thursday, July 19, 2007
She did such a fabulous job posting about our weekend getaway...wait, it was only one night-- and a Tuesday night at that! Oh well. It was fun. Wish you all could have been there. I'll post my set of pics as soon as I can get them off my memory card--
As I tried to fall asleep last night, I had images of GREAT blog posts dancing in my head--only I was too damn tired to remember any of them the morning after. So there you go.
Off to Looney Tunes, my friends! MWAH.
p.s. don't forget to check out the sideblog-- the funniest ringtone EVAh.
Ring, ring ring!! LMAOOOO!!
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Can I just say how lucky I am to have my husband? Someone who is faithful. Loves me unconditionally. Puts up with my moods. Loves our children as much as I do, would give his life for any one of them. Trusts me with all his heart. Brags about me to his coworkers (and uses me as perfect examples when teaching psychology to undergrads--but we'll just skip over that part!). He loves me! And I love him so much that thinking about him now gives me butterflies in my stomach!
But you know what?-- that love doesn't come naturally, and you're a fool if you think it does! It takes practice. It takes patience. And you have to be humble, lose the pride and recognize how good you really have it!
Because I do.
Monday, July 02, 2007
Want to know what I've accomplished thus far? Laundry (some), Cleaning (some), Shopping (some), Packing (NONE), Haircuts and Makeovers (CHECK), Photoshop to leave my fellow bloggers with some fantastic pics? (CHECK).
Sigh...another trip home without my husband.
DAMN I'm gonna miss you!!
Monday, June 25, 2007
then we realized--IT'S PRIDE WEEKEND!!
How could we skip out on such a cultural opportunity?! So of course we parked the car, joined the crowds, enjoyed a flamboyant parade, and then had a nice leisurely lunch on the patio of a local tavern!! It was AWESOME!!
Other title considered for this post:
Friday, June 22, 2007
AND...WELL, IN THAT CASE...
We just got back from the pool when I told miles he needed to go potty. He pulled down his swimming trunks and laughed!
"hey mommy!! mommy!! look!! look!! my penis got fat!!!"
(and impressed that he learned something new, I giggled and said, yes, Bud-duh, that's what happens when you go swimming and the water is cold--)
He laughed some more and said, "hey mommy!! my penis has water in it!! And that makes it fat!! hahhahaaa!!!"
(um, not exactly son...but we'll save THAT talk for another day! Like-- the day you get married!!)
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Tiny points and laughs-
look at crunchy Bud-duh!! He's soo silly!
Um, I think you mean chubby Bud-duh.
--hee hee, NO, crunchy bud-duh! He's so very crunchy!
and when I find the camera that TINY has hidden...
I will upload a couple pictures.
Grrr, she is such a Stitch.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Um...sorry, honey, I need you to load up all the kids in their pajamas and drop me off at the doctor because I'm broken. Oh- and happy father's day.
An hour and a half later, one antibiotic shot in my left hip (I swear it was yellow gel that she was shoving through that needle and now I walk with a limp on BOTH sides), one bout of nausea and vomiting, one set of crutches, one script of painkillers and one more for antibiotics...I return home to my king size baby blue and chocolate bed.
(sorry had to throw that in there)
In the meantime I leave a frantic message on my dad's voicemail (aka Willy, D.O.) that I am dying...
Oh- and happy father's day.
He called back giving me advice and validating my pain (which is ALWAYS a safe way to handle me when I'm stressed) and promising that it will be OK (another safe way to handle me when I'm fragile).
The dads in my life GET ME. I'm not sure that other people get me the way they do. N8 understands my issues almost as well as my dad does...which makes me love them both
SO VERY MUCH.
comfort, advice, validation, unconditional love, calling me out when I need it, encouraging me to go on when I feel hopeless, throwing in their sense of humor to make me laugh, and trying to keep me sane--whatever it takes, my dad and husband are there for me. thank you.
Happy Father's Day!
p.s. just so you all know how wonderful my husband is...
he insisted on doing everything for me today, including walking Damn Dog. I apologized again, and he said, "don't worry about it. It's Father's Day-- a day for fathers to give back." Sigh...I love that man.
Friday, June 15, 2007
And I might have (possibly) peed my pants. And if I didn't pee my pants on the way down, then I probably did it in between fits of laughter and tears. And if I didn't pee my pants because of the laughter or the pain, then I probably peed them a little when Princess Reva's baby SCREAMED at me as I rolled around in hysterical fits of laughter and well...pure CRAZINESS, scaring the living bejeebers out of her!
*Princess Reva might have thought I was kidding about NOT stepping on those boxes...and she just might have found herself FLAT on her back within minutes. She MIGHT have peed her pants too. I'm just sayin...
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
She fell off, she bumped her head.
She cried, mama came.
Then she looked up at me (between sobs) and said,
"you have dirt on your eyelashes?!"
"yes you do. (sniff, sniff) it's eyelash dirt!"
no. it's mascara.
"scare-ah? (little sobs) you have scare-ah on...your...eyes?"
"i don't like that. (sniff and sob) it makes me cry (whah!)."
Monday, June 11, 2007
So for the 3rd time today, he calls. I answer. He has me on speakerphone. He says, "I forgot to tell you something earlier."
to which I promptly reply:
You want to HAVE SEX with me?!!
*needless to say, he picked up the phone immediately.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
Friday, June 08, 2007
"Avalanche Ranch: A wild ride through God's word!"
whoo whooo. it is A.W.E.S.O.M.E.
*hey, at least they aren't home with me!