Monday, October 15, 2007

Apparently I Come with a Warranty

(and NO, jess, that wasn't meant to sound dirty!)
It's true. After hearing a disturbing interview on NPR today regarding faulty pacemakers, my husband left me a message to have mine checked for a Medtronic RECALL.

Seriously? A recall on a piece of equipment that has been IMPLANTED in my HEART for the past 8 years?!--as though I can just simply exchange it for a new one?!

I downloaded the interview from NPR this morning, (which still wasn't totally clear on WHO is in danger of imminent DEATH), but apparently the leads from a particular model have begun to fray--causing them to break off inside the heart. And it took some digging to find the info on Medtronic's site.

By this point I had become somewhat sadistic-- laughing because there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it at the time--and seriously, what kind of bizarre shit happens only to me? isn't it just fitting then that of all people I should be the one to have a frayed lead break off inside my heart?!!

Then I began looking through all of my original paperwork and came across this lovely piece of information and simply DIED LAUGHING!!

After 5 years, I am Shit Out of Luck. Great.
Thanks NPR for giving me the heads up.

*btw, I am NOT one of those patient's with defective equipment. (even if I were, my cardiologist wouldn't remove it because of the risk of doing MORE DAMAGE to my heart--so either way, I'd have been totally screwed!)
**Not sure the point's like the signs you pass going up the canyon roads "Watch out for Falling Rocks!" as if that's going to make all the difference and save a life!!!


  1. OMH! I am simultaneously freaking out and laughing my ass off at the sheer bizareness of this!

    I also wanted to let you know that I have washed my freaking cell phone, in case you have tried to get a hold of me. GRRRR.

    Miss you. did you get my email?

  2. holy crap. uh...a warranty? I wish I could say something funny here but I'm a bit speechless! oh, and glad you aren't defective. :)

  3. A story from the opposite end of the medical warranty spectrum: We have a customer who's in his 90s and still gets around pretty well--he's very mentally alert but a few years ago one of his doctors recommended he get a knee replacement. He was 91 at the time and knee replacements are expected to last at least 10 to 15 years. His insurance company wouldn't cover the replacement because they figured he would die way before the end of the product life so it wasn't "worth it" to them dollar-wise. Nice, huh?

    Glad you weren't recalled!!!!!

  4. What the crap!?

    You gotta love those warranties! Everything has a warranty these days because everything is worthless pieces of crap....and they know this. They wouldn't need a warranty if they had a quality product. always expires just before they KNOW the product will break, shred, fall apart, etc!

    Glad you don't have the defective product...(not that it would matter since your doctor wouldn't do anything about it if you did!)

    If any of my friends say "why me?" I will refer them to you for all the odd crap that happens to only YOU! LOL!

  5. Wow, ummmm sometimes I don't understand the rationalization of the medical world.

  6. Ha ha!! My husband just said "it's like having a warranty on your parachute"-

    if it doesn't work, who's going to claim the warranty?!!

  7. ONLY YOU!
    Seriously... ONLY YOU!

  8. Whoah! Scary! Glad you are okay, though.

  9. ok can it get any more crazy. You poor thing. hang in there!


Oh come on-- the least you can do is say HELLO!! You didn't come all this way to turn around and walk away, did you? DID YOU??