Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Ultimate Fight Club

What's better than watching boys in banana hammocks performing sexually insinuating moves while rolling around on the mats, getting cauliflower ears and rug(less)burns on their knees...?
There is something grotesquely intriquing about this.

The only published rule? NO EYE GOUGING! What kind of sport has it's only rule as no eye gouging?? What the hell?! How about these: can you bite? can you fart on his nose? can you strangle him? can you kick him in the nards? can you pull his hair? can you stick your finger in his ear? can you hock a loogie (sp?) in his mouth? The answer? "As long as there's no eye gouging."

8 comments:

  1. wow, LM, when are you signing up?

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  2. I think it's funny you said Nards.

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  3. Well how can you spit directly into another human's mouth if you can't see their mouth? It makes perfect sense to me!!!

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  4. Anonymous11:43 AM

    what about wet willeys? is there a rule against wet willeys?

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  5. Spitting in someone's mouth, gross! It reminds me of the episode of "Friends" when Phoebe confesses to her future in-laws that a pimp spit in her mouth! Ha!

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  6. nice thoughts here...i think i'm going to start a fight club

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  7. I don't. I just like watching guys beat the living shit out of each other and calling it a "sport." You know, they used to do that in Greece centuries ago...

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  8. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter...come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me.

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Oh come on-- the least you can do is say HELLO!! You didn't come all this way to turn around and walk away, did you? DID YOU??