This story is dedicated to Baby-Faith and Holli (thanks for your post)
My husband is convinced that the dog peeing and pooping in the front yard is what's killing it. So to be respectful (and after much deliberation), I decided to walk the dog in the back yard (aka, the jungle). So as we ventured into the great unknown... I began thinking, "I bet there are lots of spiders and creepy bugs hiding in here!"Then all of a sudden--- _F (etch, right?) I got stung or bit or something really painful...I shook my foot, screamed like hell, and ran back to the driveway as fast as possible. (needless to say, my dog shat herself right then and there, poor girl!)
And it just HAD to be one of those ugly spiders, you know the black one with tiny white lines all over it's body? Not that spiders are ever "attractive"...but this one was particularly ugly, and it left a nasty welt on my foot. That bastard. (And don't say that I should have been wearing shoes because I NEVER wear shoes...being barefoot is the only option.) I managed scream some explicitives and do the heebeejeebie dance (you know the kind, the "shake it off dance") .... and much like Holli, I hope my neighbors weren't listening to the sounds of someone being butchered in my backyard.
p.s. When my husband got home from work tonight, he spent an hour and a half mowing down that damn jungle...THAT'S LOVE!