Monday, July 18, 2005

The Jungle

This story is dedicated to Baby-Faith and Holli (thanks for your post)

My husband is convinced that the dog peeing and pooping in the front yard is what's killing it. So to be respectful (and after much deliberation), I decided to walk the dog in the back yard (aka, the jungle). So as we ventured into the great unknown... I began thinking, "I bet there are lots of spiders and creepy bugs hiding in here!"Then all of a sudden--- _F (etch, right?) I got stung or bit or something really painful...I shook my foot, screamed like hell, and ran back to the driveway as fast as possible. (needless to say, my dog shat herself right then and there, poor girl!)

And it just HAD to be one of those ugly spiders, you know the black one with tiny white lines all over it's body? Not that spiders are ever "attractive"...but this one was particularly ugly, and it left a nasty welt on my foot. That bastard. (And don't say that I should have been wearing shoes because I NEVER wear shoes...being barefoot is the only option.) I managed scream some explicitives and do the heebeejeebie dance (you know the kind, the "shake it off dance") .... and much like Holli, I hope my neighbors weren't listening to the sounds of someone being butchered in my backyard.

p.s. When my husband got home from work tonight, he spent an hour and a half mowing down that damn jungle...THAT'S LOVE!

15 comments:

  1. Now that I know you hate spiders...

    Kidding. I'll be nice. Hope your front yard is rebounding from your sacrifice and your foot and dog are doing okay.

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  2. Damn Spiders. (but don't let my mom know I said that)

    If the dog is a girl then yes she's ruining the grass. But if you spray the area she pee'd in with water right after it won't kill the grass.

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  3. you don't understand, I CAN'T walk her in the backyard, there's spiders, and fire ants, and stinging caterpillars, and who knows what else?! I'll have to wear a spacesuit and hunting boots just to venture into the jungle... even with the grass cut, it's still scary!

    and larry, I'll let the spiders comment slip THIS time, but just know that I am STILL on to you!

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  4. Not too mention another certain type of creepy thing that might be out there that is too unspeakable to even mention...

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  5. JEFF! DON'T EVEN GO THERE!

    I know where you live, and I know where you sleep...

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  6. I'll go there, SNAKES!!!!!!!!!!! Little Miss HATES Snakes. Once I had to drive a dead 3 inch garden snake home to my house to throw it away, because she couldn't fathom it dead in her garbage can!

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  7. that will teach you and Mr. Little Miss to beat me in poker!

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  8. My dog is a girl... and my husband gets pissed if she ever pees in the front yard because, yes, girl dog pee kills grass. We've gotten it under control by giving her a little bit of tomato juice every morning with her food. That's helped quite a bit, but it takes about a week for it to kick in. But, my hubby still won't stand for her peeing on the lawn in front!!

    I feel you about the spiders. If one bit me and I saw it, I'd be in a straight-jacket. GAME OVER.

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  9. Ummm, you weren't posting on my blog as "anonymous" a few weeks ago were you?

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  10. no, Molly, I always comment with my username...I don't play those games. Sorry to disappoint you.

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  11. and THAT is why I need to get married.. forget the rest of the stuff. I just want to no longer be the "head spider killer" in this household.

    i don't think i've ever had a blog entry posted to me.. i feel so special!!

    btw - i know this has been discussed on my crazy dog list.. i think there is something that will neutralize the dog pee and save the grass. i love to have a mission.. i will investigate tomorrow when i'm supposed to be working. :)

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  12. oh, but Holli, you're obviously so good at killing spiders! Potential husbands should be seeking YOU out! lol.

    and yes, please help our marraige by saving our lawn. : )

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  13. oh, and Erika...likes to dance naked in the backyard!

    she told me once.

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  14. She told everyone once

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  15. shut up Jenn, I couldn't think of anything better!

    (give me time...)

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Oh come on-- the least you can do is say HELLO!! You didn't come all this way to turn around and walk away, did you? DID YOU??