Where oh where do I begin?
My husband and I had an interview tonight with the Stake President. (After he's sustained on Sunday, I'll tell you that he's the new Elder's Quorum President. But until then, I'm not allowed to say.)
We left the kids with a babysitter whom we'll call Spooky. (It's a stretch, I know.) So when we left, rain began to POUR down! It was raining so hard that the windshield wipers couldn't keep up. My husband said, "it's like being underwater! no, actually, I could see BETTER underwater!"
When we got to the church, my cell phone rang. It was our babysitter calling from an unrecognizable number. She had locked herself out, in the rain, smoking a cigarette, with the dog, while the kids were in bed, leaving her cell phone inside, and calling from someone else's house.
Moral of the story:
* If you have a spare key outside, be sure to tell the babysitter where it is! (true)
* If you smell cigarette smoke on your dog's breath, chances are your babysitter left it on the picnic table outside while going to figure out a way to get back into the house. (true)
* Leave a key to the house with your babysitter. (oh, wait, we DID that!)
* Be sure to tell your babysitter which house belongs to your good neighbor and church friend so she doesn't go door to door asking people we've never even met where bud and michelle live.
* Tell your little girl that it's okay for her to get out of bed to answer the doorbell when it rings at 10 o'clock at night because it just MIGHT be the babysitter!! (true)
* Be sure to tell the babysitter just which window IS unlocked, so she won't take down all the window screens trying to find it. (mostly true)
* Don't write a blog about it because the babysitter already feels awful for neglecting the children; she cries when she talks about it. (true and false)
Most blogworthy aspect? You decide.
* When the stake president calls for an interview...RUN the OTHER WAY!
* If you smoke, bad things will happen.
* If you say a prayer that "promises to never smoke again", then you better do it! (Lest He smite you with more rain and bad luck!)
* Never say to the babysitter, "that happens to me all the time," because she just might laugh.