I have killer cramps! Tylenol, Ibuprofen, nothing comes close to easing this pain. I've tried everything! Nothing seems to be working.
Last night I decided to do something about it. I still had some Percocet leftover from when I had my wisdom teeth excavated from my jaw...so I took one, just half. (Felt a little guilty about self-prescribing a narcotic, but whatever, I was hurting so bad!) Just as the medication was beginning to take hold, the room started to spin.
Uh-oh! I felt like I was going to barf! Oh crap! (And this coming from the only drug that my stomach could tolerate!) Needless to say, I spent the whole night tossing and turning on a waterbed atop a tiny skiff out on the ocean waves during a tropical storm, and NOT in a good way!
...and ALL THIS WHILE STILL FEELING AS THOUGH MY ASS WAS GOING TO COMPLETELY FALL OUT !
Ok, Ok, I get it. Stop toying with me. I'll dispose of the narcotics, just please...no more lessons.