Thursday, February 02, 2006

E-Bay Auction

Damn Dog
starting bid: $1
Will ship worldwide.
Comes with kennel, chewed up toys, dirty blankets, and food

Time Left: 36 hours
No Reserve!
Item Description:
51 lb. spayed female, like new condition, less than two years old, short hair, hound mix with a shake of pitt bull, beautiful markings!

Special Features:
very tolerant of children, never bites
takes YOU for a walk on her leash.
occasionally chews things up
occasionally leaves a letter under the door and runs away
occasionally gets caught humping male dogs from behind
loves to sleep on your bed, more specifically on your pillow

Favorite pastime:
running out and digging in the mud after you just paid $25 for the spa treatment at the local groomer's salon, then pees on the floor when she gets in trouble as you're trying to carry her sorry ass to her kennel so she doesn't track mud all over your freshly mopped floors.

*edit: blankets in the picture are NOT for sale! the blankets that come with damn dog are chewed up, dirty, and covered in dog hair. sorry for any misrepresentation, but my son would self-destruct without his "bank-el-ets."

13 comments:

  1. HEY! I'm pretty sure I recognize that blue blanket in the picture. I could be wrong, but if I'm not...

    I OBJECT ON BEHALF OF MY LITTLE FRIEND BUD-AH! :)

    I was pretty sure DAMN DOG lived next door to me, maybe their related?

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  2. the murphster kindly bids $5, he's always wanted a concubine

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  3. I'd take him but my kitty doesn't like to be a chew toy.

    Plus I'm not sure your hubby will let you give him up, you fought so hard to get him, I'm sure he'd make you keep him just as punishment.

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  4. Yeah, you can keep this find. Cute, but I have one baby peeing on the carpets, that's all I can handle!!

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  5. After Celebrating Womens CUTE post of puppies... I needed this reminder of why we DONT have a dog anymore! LOL.

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  6. i would like to throw in the worlds worst dog for free. two for the price of one. this dog will seek out dead fish and roll in them before jumping on you. if that's not love, i don't know what is.

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  7. Can my 5 yr old ride her? She wants a horse.....

    Let me know and I will bid.... :)

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  8. Hey--she doesn't look at all like the Runaway Bride! She's much, much cuter...

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  9. Do you think she thinks her name is Damn Dog, you say it so much that and get down(go on girl head get)

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  10. HAH!! Girly, you are too funny....

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  11. Come on people, step up to the plate, I don't really want the Damn Dogg! Aw crap, this always happens to me on ebay.

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  12. Erika we couldn't bid against Murphy, we know how much he needs his concubine.

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Oh come on-- the least you can do is say HELLO!! You didn't come all this way to turn around and walk away, did you? DID YOU??