SERIOUSLY! IT'S FRIDAY!!
can you believe it??!!
I Spoke Too Soon.
Anyone want to know how to get Cinderella to mop and scrub your kitchen floors on her hands and knees and do two loads of laundry? Do you?!
Here's the KEY:
Make sure your daughter eats expired yogurt followed by cheese cubes and a glass of milk. Wait less than two hours. Wait for it. Wait--
PROJECTILE VOMIT all over the kitchen floor! Five rounds of vomit, SPLATTERING everywhere, puking on the girl's shoes, the girl's clothes, my shoes, my clothes, the blanket, and the kitchen rug. Just when you think it's all over, the husband goes to run the bathwater. Two seconds later, the Tiny one stops what she is doing, looks at you with watering, red eyes--then WHAM! PROJECTILE VOMIT of red applesauce and crackers all over the kitchen floor, her clothes, my clothes, and of course, the blanket.
Here I am, holding two ragged little girls, covered in vomit--the husband takes them away while I begin to clean up. Not one minute later, I am dry heaving over the kitchen sink, trying to hold onto my dinner as though it was my last supper (Panera, mmmm...it was good!). Somehow I make it through, only to SLIP and FALL. Yep. Slip-n-Slide, vomit style. What a perfect ending to a Friday night.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to spray another round of Lysol. The stinch is unbearable!