I have decided (deep breath here)---to stop swearing. Yes, it's true. I have come to this conclusion based on my own merits, and I am doing this for myself. (And if it sounds like I am trying to convince myself of this, it is because I AM!)
It's just time to give it up.
I don't want to be a sailor's wife. I don't want to sound like the white trash I so exuberantly display when I take my daughter to Kindergarten wearing only my pajamas, both little munchkins in dirty t-shirts, pullups, and no shoes---I want to be classy. Bitchy, but classy. Crap! I'm not saying that word.
Maybe I need to rethink this whole thing.
There are just times when, "shoot! that hurt!," or "dangit! that sucks!," or "what the freak were you thinking?!," or "darn! I can't believe I missed that!," or "where the heck do you think you are going?," or "that really ticks me off!" or "pilatekickmybuttes" just simply
WILL.NOT.WORK.
Oh well. The road to HECK is paved with good intentions!
I'll just go with that.
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My brother is trying to convince me to switch my blog to the URL he just bought (You will appreciate it, I KNOW IT)
ReplyDeletewww.fetchingfetcher.com
Grin.
I did this once! AND I was pretty successful (I have since relapsed, but...anyway).
ReplyDeleteWhen I wasn't swearing, the thing that surprised me the most was how harsh the people who WERE sounded. All of a sudden it was as if I had virgin ears or something...let us know how it goes.
Yeah, like you break a nail. Nothing that isn't a dookie mouth will do.
ReplyDeleteI feel ya sista!!
You can do this. You will be a role model to housewives everywhere.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteOh nice talk, sugar mouth!!
ReplyDeleteLMAO!! (I can still abbreviate!)
you know that now that it's in writing your going to be held accountable. Good luck with that though!
ReplyDeleteso... how's it going?
ReplyDelete"Profanity is the effort of a feeble mind to express itself forcibly."
ReplyDeleteThis is a quote I memorized when I was in my "GOOD-LITTLE-MORMON-GIRL" days. You know what I'm talking about: no swearing & no watching rated R movies. (Yes, SERIOUSLY, this is what I worried about. I was an OBNOXIOUSLY good kid!)
Now I just think whoever thought that up is full of $HIT! (Hmmm... does that count? NOPE!)
Oh lord - this is a big one for me. I'm good at holding my tongue, but when I don't feel like holding back I can throw down like Chris Rock.
ReplyDeleteHonestly - I don't feel like stopping. I don't do it in front of anyone who doesn't know me really really well. I wouldn't do it in front of strangers - extended family, children (although when I taught kindergarten I almost slipped a few times.. said "shhhhhhhhhhiii" and the kids just hung on the edge of their seat")
But I do love the F word. Maybe I'll change my mind someday - when the world quits being so F'ed up. As of now - it requires that word for adequate descriptive purposes.
You let me know how it goes miss sassy pants.
um.... that's bullsh*t.
ReplyDeleteoh, c'mon Erika! your comment was priceless!!
ReplyDeletePUT IT BACK!!