When you go outside for damn dog's potty break, you may want to wear your running shoes. You just might run into the neighbor you are trying to impress who is out jogging ten times around the block to lose those last few pounds. So you may very well join her (as our block is quite small), thinking this would be a great chance to get to know each other and spend that one on one time you have yet to enjoy since the move.
TWENTY minutes later, you may find that you are still jogging (ahem, speed walking) around the block, nearly dragging damn dog along (as she's not used to exercise), you will smell like a pig, and you will have blisters the shape of a large "C" on both of your heels because you were (of course) barefoot. You will gracefully excuse yourself when you pass up your house for the fifth time, walk inside the door, and CRASH onto the floor. (Both you AND damn dog on the cracked linoleum floor in the kitchen, panting---trying to explain to your husband between breaths why it took you twenty minutes to poop the dog.)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
You went jogging barefoot??
ReplyDeleteSee when I try to impress the neighbors that are one their way to the park, I go out to "weed" then end up stopping them to talk to me. Much easier on the muscles that way.
ReplyDeleteAnd what in the world made you jog barefoot, should have waited until she lapped back around then joined her with shoes on.
shut up. You are both being too logical. spur of the moment, people! spur.of.the.moment.
ReplyDeleteI would have done it.
ReplyDeleteI would have been calling her "Gym Hag" in my head for the rest of our acquaintance, but I would have done that exact thing.
Either that, or catch her eye, start limping in an exaggerated fashion and gesticulate to imply "Darn Spinning injury...What can you do, though?"
Not sure which.
My god. At least my neighbors are hunky college guys who I only see when they come out for more beer.
ReplyDeleteWait, I should be jogging............
I run on the treadmil barefoot. My husband thinks I'm nuts, well for other reasons too, but let's just focus, okay?
ReplyDeleteI don't like shoes either. That sounds like something I might do. But I bet you were wiped! My butt needs to get out there and run. Thanks for the inspiration :0)
ReplyDeleteI get so frustrated with anything potty related in the dog world. Potty strikes, dog adhd.. sled dog pulls.. I feel your pain.
ReplyDelete