So far I've been both AWARDED and BOOed

I'm so confused. Rocket Girl thinks I'm worth "wasting her time" and Sher thinks my blog should be "boo-ed". I've added both ummm...awards on my sidebar.

thanks girls for thinking of me!
xxoo

Good to Know I'm Still 29!

What's My RealAge?

Calendar Age
30.3
Difference
-0.6
RealAge
29.7

• Review your eating habits


• Do more cardio


• Hang up and drive


• Make breakfast a must


• Ease your headaches


• Check up on feeling down

Depression has many causes and solutions. Take the Depression Health Assessment to get a more in-depth analysis about your depression and find some possible solutions. Here’s why: Depression can be a daily struggle. But the majority of sufferers find relief through self-care strategies, psychotherapy, . . . medication, or a combination of these.

4 Ways to Fight Depression

1. Try to unwind. Yoga, meditation, tai chi, journaling, progressive muscle relaxation, deep-breathing exercises, or any hobby that helps you unwind can help with emotional balance.

2. Keep moving. Physical activity helps relieve anxiety and stimulates the release of feel-good endorphins. Eat good food. A nutritious and balanced diet that includes fruit, vegetables, whole grains, lean protein, and low-fat dairy -- and is light on caffeine and alcohol -- helps body and mind.

3. If you take an antidepressant, be sure to get ample amounts of folic acid, which may boost the drug's effectiveness.

4. Get enough sleep. Depression can interfere with normal sleep habits. Aim for 6 to 8 hours a night for optimal health. Try these tips for getting better ZZZs.

• Schedule time for yourself


• Reach out to others

You said that you went through one or more difficult life events in the last year. Unfortunately, they likely made your RealAge older. The good news? Your social support network (family, friends, organized groups) is excellent. To relieve the effects of stressful circumstances, . . . reach out to your network, and keep building connections. If tough times continue to affect your health or happiness, talk to a counselor.

Here’s why: In general, strong social ties help you work through anxiety and can counterbalance the aging effects of stressful events.

6 Ways to Reduce Stress and Tension

1. Try yoga, tai chi, or chi-gong. Or just go for a walk. 2. Meditate, or enjoy some quiet time in nature. This will get you started. 3. Write in a journal, strum a guitar, draw, paint, or do your favorite craft. 4. Spend time with good friends, or give your pets extra love and attention. 5. Listen to relaxation tapes or soothing music. Here’s how rhythms relax you. 6. Watch a funny movie, or engage in any activity that inspires a good belly laugh. Laughter is good medicine!

“Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.”~Author unknown

“There is a fountain of youth: It is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.”~ Sophia Loren

“Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper.”~Adelle Davis, nutritionist

I'm not CRAZY, I'm just a little UNWELL

Finding my Mantra

I need a mantra. I can't sleep. My brain won't shut off at night...and I run around in circles inside my head all night long. My mom said to breathe. 23 times. Nice and slow. Then decide on three phrases that can I can say over and over to reinforce positive and calm thinking...hopefully helping me fall asleep.

"I am safe. I am loved. I am protected. I am safe. I am loved. I am protected. I am safe. I am loved. I am protected. I am safe. I am loved. I am protected. I am safe. I am loved. I am protected. I am safe. I am loved. I am protected. I am safe. I am loved. I am protected. I am safe. I am loved. I am protected. I am safe. I am loved. I am protected. I am safe. I am loved. I am protected. I am safe. I am loved. I am protected. I am safe. I am loved. I am protected. I am safe. I am loved. I am protected. I am safe. I am loved. I am protected. I am safe. I am loved. I am protected. I am safe. I am loved. I am protected. I am safe. I am loved. I am protected. I am safe. I am loved. I am protected..."

Well that worked for a few minutes. It was calming, relaxing, and I even felt a bit sleepy. Then I needed some more positive reinforcement...so onto the next mantra. Let's see...what will make me feel peace?

"I am a daughter of our Heavenly Father. I have the Lord's Spirit with me. I am cherished. I am a daughter of our Heavenly Father. I have the Lord's Spirit with me. I am cherished..."(this is working! I'm loving this mantra!!)

"I am a daughter of our Heavenly Father. I have the Lord's Spirit with me. I am cherished. I am a daughter of our Heavenly Father. I have the Lord's Spirit with me. I am cherished..." (cherished. I love that word. this is good!)

"I am a daughter of our Heavenly Father. I have the Lord's Spirit with me. I am cherished. I am a daughter of our Heavenly Father. I have the Lord's Spirit with me. I am cherished..." (cherished reminds me of cream roses and the color of gold)

wait a minute...what song is in my head?? what am I humming??

give me faith, give me joy, my boy...i will always cherish you

Cherish!! Cherish!! (80's song by Madonna??!!...Cherish your love!!

damn. there goes my new mantra. there goes my peace. there goes my calm. i'll be up the rest of the morning hours singing "Cherish the thought of always having you here by my side-oh baby I Cherish the joy...I'm always singing it! Cherish your strength. You got the power to make me feel good...."

What? You don't like my depressing post??

Tagged. I assume it's because no one wants to read about how I think we're all going to hell in a handbasket...SOOOO here ya go, Sher!

(in no particular order):

1. I have to brush my teeth after I shower. If I work out in the middle of the day and have to shower...I brush my teeth. If I take a quick "sponge bath" (because let's be honest here...how often do I actually GET to shower in the middle of the day??), I brush my teeth. AND it HAS to be with the Original gel CloseUp toothpaste or my teeth still feel like they're surrounded by morning breath.

2. I hate going upstairs at night. Even though I'm 30 years old now...I still feel like someone is chasing me. I'm grateful my stairs are split now I can check behind me after only 4 stairs one direction and 4 stairs the other. (I also hate going DOWNstairs at night...relive the broken toe incident here).

3. I am a nightowl and I HATE mornings. I get my second wind the instant everyone else falls asleep...so I'm left to entertain myself for hours on end until I finally force myself to go to bed. And by morning I always feel like I have a hangover from the previous night...so my poor children are more than thrilled to leave me and head off to school!

4. I am lazy. I ain't gonna lie. I am selfish and I am lazy. I put off tomorrow (what I know I won't actually do tomorrow) for the simple fact that I don't want to deal with it today. I don't mind that my kids like to watch t.v. while I do something else simply because I WANT TO. My life revolves around...ME. I look at Ms. Sunshine Junie B. Cleaver next door outside playing with her little boy and her little girl fifteenhundred times a day (and walking her spoiled little dog at the ass crack of dawn TWICE around the block) and then only get even more pissed off that I am so incredibly selfish. In fact it frustrates me so much that I grab a Coke Zero and a Hershey bar and tell the kids to "shush so I can read this" and try desperately to block out the butterflies and rainbows that seem to be bursting through my windows from the Cleavers down the street.

5, 6, 7. I can't think of anything else...I'm back in my downward spiral (sorry, Sher!) and there's just nothing else I can add to lighten the mood. Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day and I'll feel like updating just a bit...we'll see. For now...Barefoot (this should be interesting!), Rocket Girl, Just Me, and Brandelena- consider yourself tagged. (I don't think it's fair to tag more than 4 since I only gave 4 random answers!)

And Jess- you are tagged too (even though the rest of blogworld can't SEE your answers. I CAN.)

Downward Spiral

It's getting kind of scary around here. Gas shortages in the southeast are literally leaving people stranded on the side of the road. Our Gov. said we "have ample gas and that it hasn't hit the lows that it did after Hurricane Katrina". (Apparently he isn't actually IN georgia!) Ummm...it's a serious issue. Cars are lining the streets leading up to the gas stations, officers are directing traffic and trying to keep the peace, and gas stations are running out of gas the same day they get their shipments. And at $4.39/gallon and limits of $40 per vehicle...that doesn't provide much fuel for someone waiting in line for over 2 hours!!

I know there are other issues going on around the country. The power outages in Ohio left my dad without electricity for 10 days, the hurricanes left Barefoot's kids out of school for weeks. We have an economy that is crashing, (our home equity line of credit was taken away a few months ago because our property has lost value), the never ending war in Iraq is...well, never ending, and the elections are approaching quickly. I fear for either party, regardless of political affiliation. This next president will be leading us down a treacherous path that was put in place 8 years ago by the great George W. And I am scared. We are reaping the fruits of our labors now more than ever and it's only going to continue to get worse.

Cramps.

When having the flu just isn't enough.




*brought to you by the makers of Midol, Motrin, Playtex, and some ancient Chinese home remedy (not yet approved by the FDA) and sponsored in part by the national foundation of women who support the use of birth control but forget to take it regularly and end up with horrible, debilitating cramps every 4-6 weeks.

Discovery and Healing

Anyone who knows me knows how much I HATED high school. I could jump on my soapbox in a heartbeat and rant about how girls can be so mean and boys can be so cruel.

I could tell you how often I was teased about being scrawny, tall, awkward, and flat chested. I could tell you I was the brunt of a lot of jokes but how I laughed them off as though they didn't bother me. I could tell you how my friends used me because I had a car-- how they would invite me to parties JUST because they needed a ride (and even though I knew it somewhere in the back of my head, I still wanted to believe they actually WANTED me there). I could tell you how I lost the one true friend I had in high school because I was always trying too hard to be the aforementioned friend to a group of girls who could care less rather I suffered or not, so long as I was there when they needed me. I could tell you about how desperately I wish I could have that friendship back but pride got in the way until 6 years later, when I finally apologized--but of course it was too late. I could tell you about the girls who hated me and made my life a living hell. I could also tell you my experience in middle school wasn't too far off either.

So for me to actually log onto Facebook and see names and faces of people from my past-- it was surprising to find that I wasn't hurt or angry or even remotely upset. Could this be how I really felt? As I started to look up the names and faces of those I remembered, I began to realize my life was never as bad as I once thought it was. I had so much anger built up (actually "bitterness" is a better description). I harbored so much bitterness and resentment toward those horrible experiences that I let it overshadow my memories of the good times for the past 13-14 years.

And now, over the past 5 short days my history has been rewritten in a much more positive light. I have reconnected with friends from elementary school, college, and even a few from high school. And.I.am.so.happy! I wish I could explain just how cathartic and healing this has been for me...but I can't find the words to do it justice.

All I can say is that this week has truly given me a new perspective on how I view my past. I have some great memories. I have some great friends. And I just might let my girls grow up and attend high school after all.

Little Miss is...

A mom. And now business woman. She's juggling a lot of balls right now.
heehee. i just said balls.

Summer time and sleeping in is now filled with business trips and ballet, chess club and violin, preschool and gymnastics, homework and bath time, checkups and dentist appointments...

And all of these activities have turned her children into little petri dishes!! (or carrier monkeys, you choose) She has been hit with a stomach bug over the weekend, and now she's got the flu! (ok, well maybe it's not "the flu" seeing as how Willy D.O. said it was too early in the season for actual influenza to start hitting) But she feels awful. She feels stoned. She's tired and exhausted but can't sleep. And the world won't stop so she can rest.

bills are due, kids ran out of lunch money

(would have been good to know YESTERDAY),

early release day today (seriously?!), phone calls to make,

birthday party to attend, ballet classes x2,

project for work that can't wait any longer,

and vet appointment for Damn Dog.

one might wonder why it is that a) she's always getting sick and b) that it takes her so long to recover?? then again...one might be stupid.

Sad...

Another hurricane is headed for the wounded New Orleans coastline and I was stuck in the Cincinnati airport yesterday for 5 hours with nothing to do but check the news and watch the weather channel. Between the presidential conventions, the hurricane, and soldiers returning home from Iraq (at the airport!)...I was an absolute wreck! I wrote my thoughts down anyway.

My heart is hurting for the gulf coast right now. My mind is swirling with the future of the United States and our ever so trusting government...and then about five minutes ago I witnessed a young mother and her little girl welcome daddy home from Iraq--someone they haven't seen since December! I cried and desperately tried to get the words "welcome home" out of my chest...but I failed miserably. I'm just an emotional wreck right now.

I've got a lot to be grateful for and counting my blessings only makes me feel even more like crying. I have a good family. I have a good job. I have a bright future with my husband. I have a roof over my head, two cars in our driveway, a checking and savings account at the bank, great schools for my children, new clothes in my closet...and that's only the material part of my life. I know how truly blessed I am in many other ways!
My life is truly BLESSED.

And yet I sit here...
and I cry.
And my heart breaks.
And I relive the worst moments of my life.
Because it's happening again.

only this time I'm not there to help.