Friday, February 16, 2007

Warning: Don't read this if you might puke

other titles considered for this post:
1.Why I'm not a fan of CHUNKY twice baked potatoes.
2.I have been run over by a train and then blasted with its laser beams! (Monsters, INC?)
3.Leave me Alone to Die (Lilo and Stitch?)
4.Just call me Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off:
Cameron: [singing] When Cameron was in
Egypt's land..."let my Cameron go!"

5.Burning ring of FIRE!
6.An entire roll of toilet paper gone in ONE night!
7.I look like shit (and probably smell even worse!)

I have been puking while ON the toilet since Wednesday night! I can only assume the cream cheese or sour cream whatever sugar cookies I ate gave me food poisoning (it's the only thing I ate that the others didn't--mostly because I didn't want to share! HA.) But that stomach started to hurt. I knew I needed to throw up. Finally I barfed up the ham and twice baked potatoes I had for dinner, and let me just tell you--you think it's bad to conjure up an image from my writing?? Try LIVING it! It was so thick and chunky; it wouldn't stop! I didn't breath for an eternity just trying to empty my stomach! I was shaking so bad when I finally stopped--

But you'd think it was over, right? Ah NOPE! I threw up 4 more times that night, and what didn't come up, went down and seriously painted the bowl NASTY. By 5 a.m. I was puking green bile out my nose! (which burned like a mother **, let me tell you!) I spent the rest of the day either on the bathroom floor with my pillow and blanket or on my bed with a barf bucket.

My poor children didn't even get to school yesterday because I could NOT be off the floor (or out of the bathroom) for more than a few minutes at a time! How was I supposed to get them dressed, fed, and into the carpool lanes at two different schools without losing some precious electrolytes?!

I don't believe there will ever be enough Gatorade in this world to replace what I lost over the past 36 hours. I managed to get the kids to school today, but I feel as though I have been run over by a dump truck after running a marathon (two things I've never done, but if I did--THIS is how it would feel.)

I had no idea that 36 hours could suck the life right out of you.
Now I know.


  1. God. Lay down woman. And stay away from the cookies next time.

    Get better soon.

  2. oh my....its been going around here for weeks...adults reduced to shriveled up raisins...I am sooooo sorry! take care of yourself! make your kids wait on you hand and foot....

  3. yikes, that does not sound like it was pleasant! So sorry.

    Did you by chance eat any peanut butter lately? ya know, the kind with salmonella in it?

    Whatever it is, I hope you feel better soon.

  4. You poor thing! I hope that you have a better taste in your mouth by now.

    It's sad for me to think that something as wonderful as cookies could do such a horrible thing.

  5. I feel your pain. 9/11, yes, that 9/11. The worst day in American history that I can remember. I woke up sick, ran to the bathroom, and the noises that ensued woke Trav up. He turned the TV on and I hear him say, "A plane has flown into one of the World Trade Center buildings." The sickness continued in the bathroom and I hear, "OH, NO! Another plane just flew into the other building. I've got to get to work." Any other day being sick would have been bad enough, but all I could do was either lay miserably in my bed, or on the bathroom floor and pray that this was all just a really bad nightmare.


  6. AGHH, I hope you feel better soon. I know how draining that is. Well you actually don't look half bad in that picture :0) XOXO

  7. So does this mean you are getting better? Seriously from your description I would have been hoping for death. Sorry the last 36 hours sucked so bad.

  8. That sucks. But you don't look sickly in that photo. I would have expected a green face, not a beautiful one!

  9. GROSS. You look like SHIT!

    Kidding. I hope you are feeling better.

    I love you...

    Thanks for the Beautiful and Poetic discription of your illness. I'm gonna go throw up now!


Oh come on-- the least you can do is say HELLO!! You didn't come all this way to turn around and walk away, did you? DID YOU??