Duuuude- you could TOTALLY put your weed in there!

yes. i am high. for the past couple of weeks, my mom has been updating my house (and recruiting my help--it is MY house, after all). we moved beds and furniture. we painted. we cleaned. we ran errands like hurricane katrina was about to knock on our door. did i mention we *pained? and moved lots of furniture? it was INSANE (and totally wonderful all at the same time). only now i have acute muscle spasms near my spine and say things like "grrr", "ouch", "dammit", or the typical "uuuuggghh!!" throughout my day. how do you spell throughout? never crossed my mind until now. i took Soma about 45 minutes ago and i should be in bed sleeping it off. but this is WAY more fun. I had a shot at urgent care and happy drugs to take away the pain. it has been exactly 4 hours of pain free drug induced mommyhood. life is better through these twisty glasses. anyone want to borrow a pair? i have extras. just ask.

i love you all. peace out my friends. peace out.


btw, this is for you. thought i'd share the love.

update:
*Freudian slip, i guess. so sad.

Sorry to have missed you...

Hi! You've reached the house of Little Miss, et. al.
So sorry we missed you.
Nannie is in town (aka my mom, aka the missionary)
and all is right with the world.

Please leave a message and we'll get back to you
as soon as we can.
Thanks and Have a Great Day!!

(---BEEP---)

Better Than Ezra Lyrics

And the HITS just keep on-a-comin!

Now Tiny girl is sick, as is the boy. I took them both into the clinic to discover (are you ready for this?!) the beginning stages of pneumonia!! WHOOT. The little generators kept their beds warm all night long, coughing and talking in their sleep...

They'll get better just in time to give it back to Sweetie; then she'll give it to Daddy; then back to me and round and round we'll go. Whoo hoo.

Here's a pic from last night though...Tiny is an absolute angel when she sleeps!




**********UPDATE saturday night*************

too late! Sweetie has been screaming in pain for a good part of the day (and sleeping the rest). I took her to urgent care and discovered her acute ear infection has returned, as well as the extremely high fever and the anxiety she so graciously expresses---

*I just might be spending more time online than ever before.

Either that or you can find me passed out on the floor amongst 1+ sick kid(s), used kleenexes, dried vomit, ear drops with a sticky lid, children's Motrin and Tylenol that has spilled while trying to draw up 10mL of syrup at 3 o'clock in the morning, damp washcloths now starting to smell like mildew, sweaty blankets, the trusty rectal thermometer, cough syrup, and inhalers that cause my children to literally climb the walls---

m-i-c-(c-ya real soon!)-k-e-y-(why? because we love you!)---m-o-u-s-e!
mickey mouse. DONALD DUCK! mickey mouse. DONALD DUCK!
...delirium is good fun, you should try it sometime.

I guess I've been away from blogging too long...

I was lying in bed last night (with my daughter who had a fever of 104) laughing at the thought of my life playing out like a good blog post. I looked around at my arsenal of Kleenex, an ear thermometer, an oral thermometer (and even one rectal if you must know), Tylenol, Motrin, cough syrup, numbing drops for little ears, Gatorade, and three barf buckets...

I could not stop giggling. (the word delirium comes to mind but whatever) My life was playing out like a good blog post, then I began thinking about thinking about my life playing out like a good blog post while thinking about it...and my mind just went round and round--kept myself entertained all night long as I nursed my little girl back to health.

good times.

Gotta post while the gettin' is good!

I've been told latey how my blog is all about griping, complaining, venting, bitching, and overall just plain depressing...and people in blogworld must think I'm never happy. This is not true. I feel pretty happy. Really, I do. I like to vent. You know, it's like when you get together with your girlfriends, talk and laugh about the things that bother you, then you can go home and not take those frustrations out on your family?? --Plus I like to have people on my side...you know, my blogworld people. We're all friends here, right?

Anyway--in an effort to prove my happiness, here's some happy news with some happy pictures:

ANOTHER TOOTH! Can you believe it?!

WE ARE SHARKS FANS!! Bite me!

OH- and we are adorable! (Bite me once again)

The park is FUN! No--The Park is TORTURE!

WE ARE ADORABLE and we know it!!

btw Erika, your birthday is over--stop spending money!

Growing Pains

Sweetie (the 5 year old) told us the other night, "no mom, you have to start it. it's not equipped with Disney DVD fast play". Nate and I just looked at each other--HUH?!

AND the following day, she lost a tooth! I swear this was the most bizarre "OMG I'm a mother" experience yet. You would think my daughter was going through puberty or something, the way it hit me like a ton of bricks! She already has another loose tooth right next to the one she lost! I just hope the tooth fairy can keep up!!

Why Today is SUCH a Bummer!

I had this great plan--a super FANTASTIC plan--I wanted to have all the details arranged so that when I presented the idea to my husband, he'd have no choice but to agree. One slight problem: we both had plans for the same day, only his couldn't be cancelled. I bet you're dying to know what it is, huh? Well...

I was planning a trip back to Louisiana to visit Erika for her birthday and spend the rest of the weekend partying at Hooter's, leaving all munchkins and cherubs with an unsuspecting, underpaid and overworked babysitter, inspecting the latest additions to her house, gossiping over plain Hershey bars and York Peppermint Patties, laughing about the latest S****isms, running through the Supertarget in barely-there t-shirts without bras and spending money we don't have, jumping on the trampoline to see who will wet their pants first, yelling at Murphy the Dumbass Wonder Dog to get his ass back in the backyard, yelling at the cherubs to get THEIR asses back in the gate, sweeping the kitchen floors, farting in front of Jacob just to see his priceless reactions, going to Wal-Mart at 2 o'clock in the morning to get tampons and chocolate (we're always on the same schedule), IM'ing each other from the front room to the bedroom ---think dirty thoughts and it's even better, and hours spent calling each other "cold hearted bitch" and "overly sensitive girly-girl" (betcha can't guess which one is which!)...and going absolutely everywhere completely barefoot!

**here's the REAL clincher--**

my husband has to go to Louisiana for a dissertation review for one of his former students!! Guess where he'll be staying?? (Erika, even though technically you're not speaking to me, can he please crash at your place and save us the $80 for a hotel room that we can't afford? hmmm?? pretty please??? I'll be your best friend!?!)

* * * * *

ERIKA--I love you. With all the warm-hearted super fuzziness shit you hate, I LOVE YOU. I'm sorry I can't be there for your birthday, but I'll make it up to you. Actually, you're still going to have a good time. I'M the one who is going to be lonely and homesick...just do me one favor? Save the smack down until I can get there and back you up, K?! C'mon, I deserve a seat on the front row, you KNOW I do.



HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BEAVIS!

How INCREDIBLY Bizarre

So this morning I dropped Sweetie off at her school, drove three more miles to drop Bud-duh off at his school and park the van (I have to walk him into class, hence I parked the van). When Tiny and I got back to the van, my key would not work! It wouldn't turn--as though I were using the wrong key. Nada. Zip. Nothing. All I could do was laugh; surely there was something wrong with my turning style.

After 1/2 an hour I finally called my friend to come get us and was relieved to discover her husband couldn't start the van either. He took the steering column apart and sprayed DW-40 on the turning mechanism and WHAH-LA! The key turned.

How random is that? Of all the things that could go wrong with my trusty $900 van, THAT is what decides to break. BIZARRE.

*GOOD TO KNOW #131:
Remember how your mom always said, "never leave home without clean underwear because you might get in a car wreck and have to be taken to the hospital"?! Well, that applies to "never leave home without a bra" as well. I had to be back at Sweetie's school for parent activity centers and didn't have time to go home and change first (as originally planned)! I'm just lucky something prompted me to put on my jeans and grab a sweater before I left the house--otherwise I'd be in my pajama bottoms and barely there t-shirt!!

No Longer the Rag-a-Muffin Tiny Girl

Give a ride to a stranded mom-
get a free haircut for the munchkin.
Not a bad deal, eh?

The mom we stopped to help yesterday happens to be the owner of a darling kids' salon, and she offered to give Tiny a new style. I love it!! A before and after picture is going on their website too! That's my girl!! ; )



*my own little Dora look-alike!

Need for an Update, even though I'm not really "Feeling It" today.

Why do babies always wait until their mouth is full of cereal and applesauce before sneezing? I have been sneezed on every feeding. (yes, it sounds like I'm talking about animals, doesn't it?--gee, I wonder why.)

I have been babysitting my friend's rug rats, 2 year old boy and 9 month old girl, since Saturday. It's been fun. The baby LOVES to snuggle and the boy is your typical "scream, run, and destroy" hyped up little man. They crack us up.

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I burned myself making cookies yesterday. I know it takes quite a bit of talent to burn your left arm while holding a HOT tray of freshly baked cookies with your right, but search no further. I am up for the Darwin Awards soon, I can feel it.

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Buddah has stayed dry for going on THREE days now!! But come to think of it, he has yet to poop. OH MY GOSH! My child hasn't pooped since Saturday. Wow, he must really hate the idea of pooping in a potty (something he hasn't ever done). And when did the toilet become a potty? hmmm?

Tiny on the other hand goes all by herself, flushes, washes, then brings me the treat jar for a piece of candy. Little miss independent is ready to take over the world. Except for one, teensy weensy little problem...she has a gag reflex like no other. I cannot change the babies' diapers around her because her eyes water and she starts gagging; this awful noise coming from her gut scares me into yelling "TINY! go in the other room! I'm already cleaning up crap, I do NOT need to clean up puke as well!" Then I laugh because who says that?!

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Speaking of which, I have discovered some funny sounding words. Blockbuster for example. Say it a few times. It's weird. [blok-buhs-ter] Blockbuster. Or how about this word: Penis. That is a very funny sounding word. [pee-nis] Penis. I have to say it over and over to my four year old, and after a while, it sounds VERY WEIRD.