When I was a little girl, I went to visit one of my friends. Her cat had just had kittens, and I couldn't WAIT to see the tiny creatures. When we got there, I will never forget the horror I beheld. The mother had eaten her young! I had never before seen such animal instincts displayed in all my 10 years. I was mortified. (How could this happen?)
Fast forward to last night. Crying. Crying. (she'll go back to sleep, surely, she will) What?! Crying again?? (What the hell?!) Oh, crying and now screaming. (what time is it anyway?) Alright, 3:30a.m...she WILL go back to sleep. (Right??) Aw, crap. It's now 5a.m., and that little **** is going to wake everybody! (There had better be blood involved, missing limbs, diarrhea out the diaper, vomit in the bed...whatever, but it had BETTER be serious!) No? Nothing but a happy baby wanting to get out of her bed? The sun is not up yet! The sun won't be up for another hour and a half! Shhhh...don't you dare wake your brother and sister! (or worse, the dog!) Go BACK to BED! What?! More Crying?! Ah HELL NO!
...and that's the story of how a mother ate her young.
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If that doesn't give you the warm fuzzies, I'don't know what will.
ReplyDeleteGlad to see I'm not the only one that wants to give himself a time out sometimes, or just turn off my kid for a bit...do they have an on/off switch? I've been looking for it.
ReplyDeletenice one! but i think they actually come out being more trouble from the other end once you eat them
ReplyDelete*burp* ahhh, excuse me.
ReplyDeleteVERY. FUNNY.
That was a VERY funny post. I laughed hysterically while Nana was telling me something very *not* funny and she glared at me.
ReplyDeleteI had baby bunnies eat their young.. only it was the daddy. Wait, I said that wrong - the babies didn't have babies - that would be the youth of today. The daddy ate the babies. You know what I mean. I'm done rambling.
exit.
ms. jae, I LUFF that idea. Momm is in time out. LOL. I may use it.
ReplyDeleteGirl, I SWEAR to you, we were up with a party animal kid at 4:00 AM the other day. What. The. Hell.
Black widows eat their mates. Hey, if you can't eat your young, that's gotta be second best, right?
Sounds like my night last night too! I can soooo relate.
ReplyDeletelol! i always thought it was the tom that ate the kittens.
ReplyDeleteHAH!! You are right, somehow you've managed to turn the morbid and unthinkable into a completely rational course of action. Too funny....
ReplyDeleteLOL. very funny post!
ReplyDelete