Friday, December 02, 2005

Insane!

When I was a little girl, I went to visit one of my friends. Her cat had just had kittens, and I couldn't WAIT to see the tiny creatures. When we got there, I will never forget the horror I beheld. The mother had eaten her young! I had never before seen such animal instincts displayed in all my 10 years. I was mortified. (How could this happen?)

Fast forward to last night. Crying. Crying. (she'll go back to sleep, surely, she will) What?! Crying again?? (What the hell?!) Oh, crying and now screaming. (what time is it anyway?) Alright, 3:30a.m...she WILL go back to sleep. (Right??) Aw, crap. It's now 5a.m., and that little **** is going to wake everybody! (There had better be blood involved, missing limbs, diarrhea out the diaper, vomit in the bed...whatever, but it had BETTER be serious!) No? Nothing but a happy baby wanting to get out of her bed? The sun is not up yet! The sun won't be up for another hour and a half! Shhhh...don't you dare wake your brother and sister! (or worse, the dog!) Go BACK to BED! What?! More Crying?! Ah HELL NO!

...and that's the story of how a mother ate her young.

13 comments:

  1. If that doesn't give you the warm fuzzies, I'don't know what will.

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  2. I LOVE IT! Sometimes I wish it were that easy! When I sometimes tell Aspen... Oh, I want to gobble you up, you are so cute.... I guess it could go both ways... i want to Swallow you whole so you will STOP CRYING!
    I put myself in Time out the other day. Shut the bathroom door, turned on the fan (to muffle the screaming child outside of the door) and read my magazine on the floor. I told her... MOMMY IS IN TIME OUT... LEAVE ME ALONE!

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  3. Glad to see I'm not the only one that wants to give himself a time out sometimes, or just turn off my kid for a bit...do they have an on/off switch? I've been looking for it.

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  4. nice one! but i think they actually come out being more trouble from the other end once you eat them

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  5. *burp* ahhh, excuse me.

    VERY. FUNNY.

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  6. That was a VERY funny post. I laughed hysterically while Nana was telling me something very *not* funny and she glared at me.

    I had baby bunnies eat their young.. only it was the daddy. Wait, I said that wrong - the babies didn't have babies - that would be the youth of today. The daddy ate the babies. You know what I mean. I'm done rambling.

    exit.

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  7. ms. jae, I LUFF that idea. Momm is in time out. LOL. I may use it.

    Girl, I SWEAR to you, we were up with a party animal kid at 4:00 AM the other day. What. The. Hell.

    Black widows eat their mates. Hey, if you can't eat your young, that's gotta be second best, right?

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  8. Hey Jeff, you like kids?

    Yep, with a little ketchup and a diet soda...

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  9. Sounds like my night last night too! I can soooo relate.

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  10. lol! i always thought it was the tom that ate the kittens.

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  11. HAH!! You are right, somehow you've managed to turn the morbid and unthinkable into a completely rational course of action. Too funny....

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  12. ROFLOL! You are too much!

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Oh come on-- the least you can do is say HELLO!! You didn't come all this way to turn around and walk away, did you? DID YOU??