Friday, December 02, 2005

Git 'er Done, T-Bone!

My favorite story from our Thanksgiving weekend is that of a little Dachshund puppy named T-Bone. You have to remember he's a wiener dog, long little body, tiny little legs, feet like pedestals, runs in a side to side motion because his legs are too short, sleeps underneath a blankie at night, eats off the floor without having to bend down, and weighs all of five pounds.


But T-Bone wasn't the only dog around. Oh, no! There was also a 76 lb. chocolate lab named Kaia. The entire weekend was spend with T-bone trying to get a piece of that ass. Any time the dog would come inside, T-Bone made a beeline for her. The instant he saw her, he automatically started humping the air trying to get at her (when alas, he would reach her knee pit).

Finally, on the last night there...we were all in the kitchen saying our good-byes. (14 adults, 3 little munchkins, 1 newborn, and 5 dogs.) It was total chaos, to say the least. Kaia was on her leash, running around like a hyper little four yr. old who had forgotten her medication (did i forget to mention she's only 9 months old?!) The other three dogs were playing chase, my three munchkins then chased them, the menfolk were all crackin' jokes, the women were trying to have those serious last-minute teary-eyed conversations, and all the while T-Bone was trying to keep up with Kaia. Finally, my brother yelled, "Kaia! Sit Down!" She promptly obeyed, to which T-Bone came running over, pelvic thrusting the whole way, hind leg already raised in the proper position, and pink lipstick in full function. He.tapped.that.ass. Oh, YEAH, baby, he tapped it. We were laughing so hard that we couldn't do anything to stop it! By the time we regained our composure (and managed to clench hard enough not to completely pee our pants), it was over.

Though T-bone could use a lesson in sex ed, he can rest assured that he scored the big one. Oh yeah, baby!

12 comments:

  1. This story is much better when Mandi acts it out, complete with lifting her 8 foot long leg in the air and matching pelvis thrust and grunting sounds. Yea, much better.

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  2. Um, I'm laughing that T.Bone was the dog's ACTUAL name. Yea... that Pink Lipstick Jaren calls it the "RED BONE"

    Oh, Erika... thank you for making me laugh even harder than I was already. The story just became a HELL of a lot funnier with the image of Mandi and her "8 foot long leg" acting this scenario out! Thank you... Thank you... Pregnant and peeing my pants cause I'm laughing so hard!

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  3. erika, you forgot the eyes-rolled-back-and-mouth-agape-in-pleasure- seeking-lust bit of action.

    "Aren't I pretty too, Jacob??!"

    and ms. Jae, so glad erika can make you pee your pants from a thousand miles away!

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  4. 'pink lipstick....'

    no no no no no no no no

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  5. Git 'r done! I love it. That dog is the supreme pimp.

    Plez send pictures of the lab/wienie puppies when they are born! LOL!

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  6. erika might be able to blog about sending a pregnant woman into labor. but right now, i'm the only one i know who has actually accomplished that feat.

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  7. well done, nytro. well done! (incredible hulk puts woman in labor)

    and lady luck, it HAS been done. The other dog not mentioned was a mix between a dachshund and a boxer. (guess who was the bitch in that relationship?!)

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  8. the sad thing is... I can see this happening - we have NoSammyNO a weiner dog, female - and she would chase our in-laws english springer spaniel Lucky (male) all around the house... looking for some action...but poor lucky... he was much too big for such a little dog...LOL

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  9. too funny...i got some pomeranian lipstick on me yesterday...yack

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  10. 'tude - that's disgusting! but i can't stop laughing!

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  11. Well, I'm glad SOMEONE had their holiday wish come true...but was it good for HER?

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  12. HAH! If I make it to visit my brother in the near future, you will have to re-tell it with animation!

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Oh come on-- the least you can do is say HELLO!! You didn't come all this way to turn around and walk away, did you? DID YOU??