#91. If you throw a diaper in with the dirty clothes, it will look like a jelly fish exploded in your washing machine. (oh, and it's slippery as snot when it covers the floors like snow as you're shaking it off.) NOT that I would know...but I'd suggest taking the entire matter outside.
#72. If you leave a box of Cheerios out, your baby WILL find it. She will dump out the entire box, scatter it like dust in the wind, and then your two year old will crush every single cheerio that the dog has not yet licked up.(one week later, you will still be finding crushed Cheerio remains in crevices you didn't know even existed.)
#03. If your dog is tall enough to stand on her hind legs and take food from the counter, then SHE WILL! (And if you kick her ass hard enough, she'll run to her box before you even tell her to do so.)
#14. If your wife tells you to run to the store because she needs chocolate and tampons, DON'T ask any questions. JUST.DO.IT.
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omg! i can totally relate to No. 14. that's how i knew that benny was a keeper. he did that for me when we were dating. (but he still won't touch my feet!)
ReplyDeleteOMG, #91. funny since it didn't happen to me
ReplyDeleteGreat, great advice. I'm pretty familiar with the whole diaper thing unfortunately. It's been a while though. I also recommend NOT leaving the Hershey syrup in arms length of a minor. O.M.G!!!!
ReplyDelete#14 and God help mine if he comes home with the wrong ones, lol!!
Yeah Bob wont get me tampons from the store, He'll stand in line with me while I'm buying them, but it's a big fat HELL no on buying them by himself.
ReplyDeletepleeeeeaaaase tell my how a diaper get's in with the dirty clothes!!!!
ReplyDeletei've stepped on one before...nice big nasty wet mess all over...
ummm...gotta tell you...i didn't quite catch the AND in between chocolate and tampons my first pass through...i thought you wanted chocolate tampons...in which case i would boycott this site if your husband DID get them for you!!! ;-)~
SO true! You are doing the world a great service by posting these...we should all be so wise.
ReplyDeleteGood grief - I can only imagine the diaper explosion. I've had to clean one up after Nathan (gag) ate one. That, and pre-Faith, I put my niece in a regular diaper to take her in the baby pool. She couldn't move.. it was like a bowling ball in her swimsuit. Those things can take on some liquid!!
ReplyDelete#14 - oh yeah - that's one of the million reasons why I love my hubby... he'll do that for me.
ReplyDeleteI TOTALLY washed a diaper two weeks ago. It was so gross. Thankfully it was an unused one. The little bead things that soak up the water were EVERYWHERE! It took 3 rinse cycles to get it all out.
ReplyDeleteNever washed a diaper and hope I never do! That sounds gross! I love the last one. I'm soooo feeling you on that one right now!
ReplyDeleteWill your husband really go? I asked my husband one time and his exact words were "you have a better chance of seeing Jesus that seeing me EVER buy you tampons"
ReplyDeleteHe really loves me!
Love these "Good To Knows"... I have a couple:
ReplyDeleteIf your child picks his nose and eats it, be thankful that he's at least not wiping it onto your Ethan Allen couch.
If you throw poopy diapers in the garage garbage can without pre-wrapping them in a baggie in the summer heat of July, you will spawn maggots. Trust me, this happened. Thanks for stopping by my blog and I'm into yours!
Word Verification:
Zippy Pig Men Want Nude And Orgasmic Dames
wendi - you killed me with the chocolate tampons. this is likely the reason tampons were invented by men because somehow they knew that if it were left up to women, that's what we would have ended up with.
ReplyDeleteLOL! #91 - I can totally see how that could happen, esp if your trash can is right next to the hamper...this is sooo going to happen to me one day...
ReplyDeleteUm, yeah, your right on all points.
ReplyDeleteAnd the diaper--yeah that is just nasty. I haven't had one in the washer but I've had one explode on my kid over night. It was awful.