Thursday, August 24, 2006

Lactose Intolerance

It's official. I am lactose intolerant. I have been cursed and sentenced to life in solitary confinement. (what? you actually thought I'd give up my Cold Stone Gotta Have It cake batter ice cream with raspberries and strawberries in a chocolate-dipped waffle bowl?!) Ever since 9 o'clock last night, my bowels have been...what's the word I'm looking for?--um, wrong.

I somehow managed a break long enough to drop my daughter off at school, seriously considered using their kindergarten-sized potty, thought better of it when I realized it was connected to their classroom--how's that for homeroom mom, huh?! Funkin' up the whole Kindergarten wing! Anyway, made it to Target without incident, which btw is located directly behind the school. ; )

And now for an important message to my kids:

Bud-uh, when I try blaming you for the next bathroom run in a public place, do not shout, "mommy, you gotta poopted again?!"

And Tiny, when I try blaming YOU for the fourth trip to the bathroom in a public place, do not start laughing and say, "mommy did you just fard-ed?!", and when I try to deny it, do not say, "not me! you did it! you fard-ed!"

I liked it better when the both of you were still old enough to blame for bathroom humiliations but still young enough not to know the difference. Thank.you.very.much.

10 comments:

  1. THANKS FOR THE LAUGH! I might POOP my own pants I'm laughing so hard.

    Oh, I needed that. I can just imagine your kids blaming you. You have HELL to pay for all the times you blamed stuff on them. (insert EVIL laugh here....)

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  2. Hahahaha! One of the better reason to have kids: so you can blame stuff on them. I LOVE IT!

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  3. Now THAT is funny! I must say, you are a brave one heading to Target will you were so ify, lol!

    Please, I still blame my kids and then fuss at them when they dispute me. Gosh, I'm a bad Mother, lol!!

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  4. LMAO! Thanks for starting my morning right! What would I do without being to laugh at all the cool things you do!

    Kudos to Bud-uh and Tiny. That intensifies the humor!

    On another note, I wrote down that tall order of ice cream that made my mouth water just thinking about it!

    ....And I too am lactose intolerant! Want to know how it hits me??? LOL!

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  5. I think I'm a little lactose intolerant.. but I actually like that rice dream stuff.. when I start comparing it to rice pudding vs. cow juice.

    Faith has been saying equally embarrassing things in public lately too.. I hate that!! But it is funnier when it's not me!

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  6. OMG! That was so funny! And too bad buddah and tiny are now old enough to argue with you. I love hanging out with friends with kids because of that very reason, they get blamed for everything!!

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  7. Darn kids. Won't take one for the team.

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  8. Well, I survived the trip to Cold Stone.... Did you?? HA!

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  9. Gee, and I thought talking was a good thing...I might have to reconsider!

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  10. LOL oh no!

    From one Cold Stone addict (German Chocolatekake) to another, buy the Soy Delicious Chocolate Almond Brownie ( I think it is) ice cream. 100% dairy free and soo, soooooo good. I have 3 pints in my freezer now.

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Oh come on-- the least you can do is say HELLO!! You didn't come all this way to turn around and walk away, did you? DID YOU??