Monday, November 07, 2005

Who's Scared of the Light?

Ok, there are two versions to this story, but it doesn't matter. I'll just tell you mine, and we'll leave it at that.

Last week, I put my kids down for a nap, and then I crawled under my covers for a little rest. (BIG surprise, I know.) Anyway, I woke up to the sound of the back door closing. I sat up thinking it was my husband, but realized he was still teaching...then I heard his footsteps on the kitchen floor. I laid back down, fully expecting him to come in and kiss me, tell me class was cancelled, and that would be that. I waited...and nothing. I finally got up and went into the kitchen...nothing, the computer room...nothing. (The panic was really beginning to rise by this point...) I rushed into my kids rooms to see if maybe they were out of bed...and nothing. It wasn't my husband, the dog was with me, and my kids were asleep. I called the two people I know who might feel comfortable enough to just walk into my house unannounced...and nothing. (Neither of them would even lie to me about it to calm my fears! wth??)

Of course the next day, I scheduled an appointment with a home security company. He brought in his entire demo and sales book, (I didn't have the heart to tell him he had me at "hello"...he was obviously new to the business, and I'm sure I was one of his first sales), so an hour and a half later, we were finally signing paperwork. Then he told me the next available appointment for installation was five days away. FIVE DAYS?!

Did he not understand that I now have panic attacks in the middle of the day?! One minute, I'm fine... feeling confident...doors are locked...kids go to bed, then...BAM! The Panic Button Has Been Activated. I panic at the sound of the back door opening and closing, especially if it's during daylight hours! As soon as my kids are in bed, (it's like clockwork), my palms start to sweat, I jump at every gust of wind, and my "down time" has been turned over to the fear of some dumbshit neighbor kid walking into my house. I freak out every time I hear anyone outside...we live in the freakin' suburbs, people!! We have neighbor kids! We have moms who push their babies in jogging strollers! We have grandparents who walk their dogs around the entire block every time they need to urinate! And who the hell gets scared in the middle of the day anyway?! HUH??!!

*************************************

Well, I'd like to invite you all to just try to get into my house NOW! Go ahead, open the door. Or better yet, open a window. C'mon, it'll be fun. And when the security company calls to ask for the verbal password to cancel the alarm, you can tell them it's "get the fuck outta my house!"

22 comments:

  1. ROFLOL! Please, Can I call them?
    That will be fun.
    H/O, I will be right there, I have to buy a plane ticket to LA!

    So is the 2nd side of the story from the person that was actually in your house?

    ReplyDelete
  2. OH GOD!!! I love our alarm! It beeps everytime a door or window is opened, which is also convenient with kids that like to go outside.

    ReplyDelete
  3. No, we never found out the other side of the story. I was just saying that if you ask my friends (ah hem) or husband, they'll say I was "dreaming" and that I only THOUGHT I heard something.

    Either way, it doesn't matter. I slept just fine this afternoon, and that's all that counts!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wouldn't it have just been easier, (and cheaper), to schedule and appointment with me for the panic attacks?

    ReplyDelete
  5. and your run away imagination?

    ReplyDelete
  6. I mean really, what's the use of having professional friends, (ie, me) and family, (ie, your dad), if your not going to use them?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Just somethings I was wondering.

    ReplyDelete
  8. ROTFLMAO.... Oh Little Miss...Glad you have your security system...hope you never lock yourself out and have to break in a basement window to gain access to your house (not that I would know about doing that!)

    ReplyDelete
  9. ha ha ha...i have the remote for the security system on my nightstand!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Question... where was your dog during all of this? Wouldn't he alert you to trouble? I'm telling you... Bailey starts growling at night when someone even thinks about walking past the house. She may be stupid and she may be small... but she's got one hell of a bark. Maybe you were dreaming... but I still don't blame you for getting a security system. Peace of mind... you can't put a price on that.

    ReplyDelete
  11. You are too much. I'm loving the password, lol!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I want a security system too. I am afraid of the LIGHT... especially b/c WHAT THE HELL am I gonna do if someone comes into my house?

    I'm with you on this one. I am glad you are safe and sound with your alarm system!

    ReplyDelete
  13. MY HOME HAS ALWAYS BEEN PROTECTED BY THE FINE AND REPUTABLE COMPANIES OF SMITH & WESSON,COLT, AND RUGER...GO AHEAD...MAKE MY DAY..

    ReplyDelete
  14. OMG security people are so stupid. There's a reason you called them and they just don't get it. How scary by the way.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Totally scary and I understand why you would get the security system. Also it was a good idea for the fire alert as well so you don't have the smoke problem when you kids turn the burner up to high on the beans just as your leaving the house.

    I also wondered why Kashka didn't bark. Weird.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Good lord, I understand your fear.

    I actually went to lay down the other day because miracle of miracles all three of my children were asleep--but I didn't do it before locking my front and back door.

    You aren't alone with the paranoia.

    ReplyDelete
  17. hahaha, that's hilarious! Even with the door locked you're scared?

    And foolish you! Now we all know the password is "get the fuck outta my house" you're going to have to change it now! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  18. I am also afraid to be home alone. I'm thinking that a security system is just what we need in our house. Way to scare off the bad people!

    ReplyDelete
  19. I do the same thing, I always hear someone in my house. I like to assume it's just my imagination. We have a security system especially since we live in the city where my parents in the burbs hardly lock their doors. But once I had a security system, I can never live w/out one.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Erika- you already know I don't listen to a damn thing i'm told, so shutup!

    Nytro, just me, et.al.
    my dog was with me, she doesn't panic when daddy comes home either, we were both napping. But she does have a bark that would strip primer from the walls, so that's another reason why nobody believes me...

    And again, that's why I say it doesn't matter. I can once again take a nap without worry, and that's all that counts. (Plus Kashka usually gets yelled at for barking...guess I should stop that, eh?!)

    Oh and Willydo, I still remember the sticker on the backdoor to our kitchen that said, "This house protected by Smith & Wesson"...I never knew what it meant until I was older! LMAO!

    ReplyDelete
  21. LOL. i`m sorry, but i find it it hilarious. not that you being freaked out is funny ;) i love your password too!

    ReplyDelete
  22. It was probably just a ghost. In which case you just wasted a lot of money on your security system! LOL.

    ;)

    ReplyDelete

Oh come on-- the least you can do is say HELLO!! You didn't come all this way to turn around and walk away, did you? DID YOU??