Ok, there are two versions to this story, but it doesn't matter. I'll just tell you mine, and we'll leave it at that.
Last week, I put my kids down for a nap, and then I crawled under my covers for a little rest. (BIG surprise, I know.) Anyway, I woke up to the sound of the back door closing. I sat up thinking it was my husband, but realized he was still teaching...then I heard his footsteps on the kitchen floor. I laid back down, fully expecting him to come in and kiss me, tell me class was cancelled, and that would be that. I waited...and nothing. I finally got up and went into the kitchen...nothing, the computer room...nothing. (The panic was really beginning to rise by this point...) I rushed into my kids rooms to see if maybe they were out of bed...and nothing. It wasn't my husband, the dog was with me, and my kids were asleep. I called the two people I know who might feel comfortable enough to just walk into my house unannounced...and nothing. (Neither of them would even lie to me about it to calm my fears! wth??)
Of course the next day, I scheduled an appointment with a home security company. He brought in his entire demo and sales book, (I didn't have the heart to tell him he had me at "hello"...he was obviously new to the business, and I'm sure I was one of his first sales), so an hour and a half later, we were finally signing paperwork. Then he told me the next available appointment for installation was five days away. FIVE DAYS?!
Did he not understand that I now have panic attacks in the middle of the day?! One minute, I'm fine... feeling confident...doors are locked...kids go to bed, then...BAM! The Panic Button Has Been Activated. I panic at the sound of the back door opening and closing, especially if it's during daylight hours! As soon as my kids are in bed, (it's like clockwork), my palms start to sweat, I jump at every gust of wind, and my "down time" has been turned over to the fear of some dumbshit neighbor kid walking into my house. I freak out every time I hear anyone outside...we live in the freakin' suburbs, people!! We have neighbor kids! We have moms who push their babies in jogging strollers! We have grandparents who walk their dogs around the entire block every time they need to urinate! And who the hell gets scared in the middle of the day anyway?! HUH??!!
Well, I'd like to invite you all to just try to get into my house NOW! Go ahead, open the door. Or better yet, open a window. C'mon, it'll be fun. And when the security company calls to ask for the verbal password to cancel the alarm, you can tell them it's "get the fuck outta my house!"