Life is sooo not fair.

We slept well last night, the alarm went off at 5 a.m. No puking, no pooping, no worries. Right?Checked in online, began printing our boarding passes. Tiny PUKES in the living room.

Cleaned up, let's get in the car anyway because I.have.just.checked.in!
Not even five minutes later, Sweetie is running a fever and crying. Then she too PUKES in the living room.

Nevertheless, we push on...because
I have already checked in!

We make it to the airport, walk up to the ticket counter, Tiny PUKES all over and I have to drop everything and RUN to the garbage can. Meanwhile Bud-duh is crying because mommy left, Sweetie is asleep on the floor, and a nice man from the next line over is busy trying to clean up my purse and things strewn everywhere from the ticket counter to the garbage can.

Alright. I get it. We are supposed to be trapped in Utah HELL. We are all suppose to suffer from horrible tummy cramps, puking and pooping until we are all too weak to stand up, AND we are to be trapped here until Tuesday afternoon (without any luggage, I might add)! This is great. Freakin' wonderful (after all, I am in Utah--what did you expect? The F bomb? Heck no!)

$#@$%**&^%$#@@#&!

And you want to know the worst part? My birthday is Monday and as fate would have it, I'll still be puking up everything I eat!! This is supposed to be my BIG birthday, the one I've looked forward to all my life. And I don't even get to be home to celebrate it!

No, I'm not turning 21, I don't care if I can drink or not.
No, I'm not turning 25, I don't care if I can rent a car.
No, I'm not turning 30, I don't give a rat's ass
about being three decades old!

I am turning 29-- the age I will be for the rest of my life! I will be forever 29 and what do I have to show for it? A bucket of puke, sharted underwear, and cranky sick kids who miss their daddy almost as much as I do!!!

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to run to the bathroom before this rant REALLY gets ugly.

Up a creek without a paddle (or a suitcase or underwear or toothbrushes)

Headed to the airport today only to have our flight home delayed by 45 minutes. And not only was it late taking off but they wanted us to BOARD the plane. and sit on the runway. the. entire. "delayed" 45 minutes. until weather cleared up in Houston---(um, insert fave quote here: Houston, we have a problem!)

With only an hour layover in Houston, that left very little time for a mom traveling alone with three little rotten, screaming, crying, tired, ornery, fighting, cute munchkins to make their connecting flight. And I will NOT be stuck in Houston. Alone. With 3 kids! Do I want to take that risk?! Um...Negative Ghostwriter the pattern is full.

So I will now be headed home Saturday morning at the ass crack of dawn, and our luggage will be sitting in lockup at the airport until then. Good times!

UPDATE:

Sweetie woke up at 3 a.m. barfing into the sink!! Then she spent the rest of the morning on the toilet--now my stomach is all crampy and I am hating life!! If the younger two get this virus, then someone PLEASE just shoot me, ok? I cannot do this.

My stomach HATES me.

I have a headache, fever, and chills.

And I fly out tomorrow morning at the ass crack of dawn.

Did I mention my life SUCKS right now?!

don't read this--

RECAP at Loralee's!!

She did such a fabulous job posting about our weekend getaway...wait, it was only one night-- and a Tuesday night at that! Oh well. It was fun. Wish you all could have been there. I'll post my set of pics as soon as I can get them off my memory card--

As I tried to fall asleep last night, I had images of GREAT blog posts dancing in my head--only I was too damn tired to remember any of them the morning after. So there you go.

Off to Looney Tunes, my friends! MWAH.

p.s. don't forget to check out the sideblog-- the funniest ringtone EVAh.

Ring, ring ring!! LMAOOOO!!

When I was in college, I always prayed to marry the man I love. Years later I learned to pray to love the man that I married.

Can I just say how lucky I am to have my husband? Someone who is faithful. Loves me unconditionally. Puts up with my moods. Loves our children as much as I do, would give his life for any one of them. Trusts me with all his heart. Brags about me to his coworkers (and uses me as perfect examples when teaching psychology to undergrads--but we'll just skip over that part!). He loves me! And I love him so much that thinking about him now gives me butterflies in my stomach!

But you know what?-- that love doesn't come naturally, and you're a fool if you think it does! It takes practice. It takes patience. And you have to be humble, lose the pride and recognize how good you really have it!

Because I do.

OVERLOAD!

This past week has been a frantic one as I tried to get everything ready for our trip out west. Packing. Laundry. Cleaning. Shopping.

Want to know what I've accomplished thus far? Laundry (some), Cleaning (some), Shopping (some), Packing (NONE), Haircuts and Makeovers (CHECK), Photoshop to leave my fellow bloggers with some fantastic pics? (CHECK).

So here you go. My friend cut my hair a couple nights ago (after getting makeovers, VERY fun night) but I didn't get any decent pics. So (of course) I spent my midnight hour taking self photographs in the mirror then photoshopping the crap out of them so they look decent.

Also about an hour before getting the haircut, we tweezed my eyebrows! (ouch) I'm not like Erika who has a set of tweezers in her SUV and is OBSESSED with tweezing her brows! However, after our little makeover it was suggested and voted upon by all in attendance that there is a reason one should become obsessed with thin eyebrows!!

*I'm reminded of A League of Their Own when the girls are at charm school and the Mademoiselle looks at one of the players and says, "eyebrows! thin and separate!" or "there should be two, not one!"

And thus the tweezing began...what do you think?

There was hair EVERYWHERE! Ick.

WHY do I get myself into these things??

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Speaking of haircuts...take a look at what Tiny did to herself--

I know, it could have been worse...but the little imp said "it was too long", and I only found out because there was CHUNKS of hair all over the house! T I N E E E E Y ! ! !

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I hate being gone for nearly a month. It's hard on the kids, it's hard on me. Worst of All, daddy has to stay home due to unforeseen work complications. I HATE it when I have to separate N8 from the munchkins, it breaks my heart...

which explains why last night when I came to bed my heart simply melted:


Sigh...another trip home without my husband.

At least he'll have Damn Dog to keep him company!

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Hope you have a SILLY JULY and

miss us TONS!!!

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Aaah--I almost forgot--

Reva Reva BoBeva, BananaFana fo Feva...

we are HOTT and
DAMN I'm gonna miss you!!

And to my girlfriends in Utah--

I CAN'T WAIT to come and play!!

see ya on the flip side.