Our A/C has been gone for over one month now!!

Seriously. NO AIR.

I'll download pics tomorrow to prove it. We are in georgia HELL.

and this is the only song helping me sleep tonight...

Kicked my TRASH

The perk of joining a gym? You get a personal trainer for a month. The drawback of joining a gym? You get a personal trainer for a month! And if you are 4 minutes late for your first appointment he'll say, "little miss, you're gonna get your trash kicked"!

and guess what? It was garbage day.

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On the plane ride home (more on that another time) I contemplated my life. Mainly accountability...over the past 6 months I have employed others to keep me accountable for my own responsibilities. Seriously.

• house cleaner: every other week (keeps me on track w/ putting things away, doing laundry, and picking up after the kids and myselft)
• organizer: every other week (keeps me on track w/ eliminating clutter, keeping my house in order and tidy)
• trainer: to kick my ass and tone my muscles
• exercising: membership at The Gym so I can be active and healthy

So let me get this straight:

In order to have a home that is clean and organized and a body that is tone and healthy I have to PAY.OTHER.PEOPLE?? Somehow my accountability in this life is seriously codependent!

*and yet I can't do it on my own- I'll always need a mentor (or a muse)!

Is Crop Dusting Illegal??

Our world has been colored GREEN. (neon green, you might call it yellow--but it looks GREEN to me!) It's dust. And it's everywhere.

Apparently it's POLLEN season, which generally lasts an entire month around here! Allergies are painful and Zyrtec, Claritin, and all other OTC and prescription drugs are flying off the shelves, which means I have to go to three different drug stores to find the ones right for my son! And then pay $85.

We can't play outside, we can't open the windows, we can't keep things clean, we can't afford any more prescriptions, and we can't breath!!

I'm trying here, PEOPLE!!

*between this and my antidepressants, I just might actually become a decent human being capable of surviving in this world without punching stupid mothers who think they know more about parenting my own children than I do!

Err...something like that anyway.

Sick...very, very sick.

I have three little petri dishes that go to school every day, (ballet, gymnastics, t-ball, and whatever else they can expose themselves to), and then harbor and grow a cocktail of germs and illnesses just waiting to be compounded by one another and then shared with us.

Strep has been confirmed. Enfluenza has been confirmed. Insomnia is at it's best.

N8 has come home early from work twice now (he doesn't take sick days so you know it's bad!) Tiny has missed school all week, Sweetie will have to miss her long awaited Dr. Suess and Pajama Day at school tomorrow, and I will continue to wear my pajama-of-the-week outfit, stained with antibiotics, Motrin, and cough syrup. Oh- and snot, don't forget the snot.

Strep Happens.
Medication Happens.

Enfluenza Happens.

For Everything else, there's the FINGER.

I NEED...I NEED...

FIRST THOUGHT:

OK, I am codependent. I have issues. Though I am trying to define that line between wants and needs, I still like to spend money on clothes and makeup, and I'm always in the market for a new purse or bag. ALWAYS! I think sometimes shopping can be a need (like retail therapy after a particularly depressing day) and other times it's just a want (like going to the store and buying something just to make a purchase, not really caring about what I get). And it's hard to set a budget for those situations because if I have it, I'll spend it. If I spend it, I'll end up needing it later. If I don't spend it and I get another allowance, then it will be burning a hole in my pocket and I'll have to blow it at Target just because I can.
bottom line: no budget. no judging.

SECOND THOUGHT:

There is something however that I always NEED--and that is my friends. I NEED them. When life gets hectic and busy and my friends get neglected...my life seems off course. I like to know what's going on, I like to chat, I like to read their blogs and get e-mails and text messages. I like the feeling of knowing someone else cares about what goes on in my life. I need YOU.
bottom line: stay in touch. i'll try harder too.

Now just imagine: Wants and Needs together!!! Anyone wanna go shopping?! ; )
and yes, the title was a plug for High School Musical 2: I need FABULOUS!!

Good to Know (in times of crisis)

I heard I could buy an overstuffed chair for the dog at Costco (seeing as how she always likes to sit on the couch because she can then use the back to support her body all curled up in a little ball)...so I was surfing Costco.com to find said chair. I found it. Adorable and less than $50!! Not bad. Before I checked out though, I noticed all of the search icons at the top of the screen...particularly to the left side of the website...

What's new...Appliances...Auto...Funerals...Furniture...Gifts and Tickets...

WAIT!! DID THAT JUST SAY FUNERALS?? Ummm, yes. Yes it did.
(click)

Go ahead, see for yourself. If you or a loved one dies, tell the others to go cheap and buy in bulk. Perhaps you could also let the mob in on that little secret, might save them a pretty penny or two when trying to dispose of the bodies.

-seriously? a casket from Costco?...S & H charges are covered in the cost, how thoughtful...why not just purchase mine now and store it out back until the time is right to receive my great reward?...we don't have enough furniture in this house, HELL, why not make it part of the sitting room?! Guests will LOVE the idea...wtf?? I need to go to bed.

Umm...I think the Weather is a bit CONFUSED!

It snowed on Wednesday then again today!! And to quote Just Me, I'm not sure but I think hell is finally freezing over!! (not that I think Georgia is a hellish place, but they don't call it HOTLANTA for nothing!)

So of course we spent a lot of time outside in our grossly inadequate gloves, hats, jackets, and tennis shoes so we could build a snowman and take pictures (LOTS of pictures)! The kids were so excited--it was almost magical to them, you could see it in their eyes and hear it in their voices. And I never would have believed it was all real unless we had the pictures and videos to prove it! It's been an amazing week!

Ohh How Approriate!!

I'm not sure where to start or which part of the story would be the most entertaining...hmmm
Perhaps I'll give a brief "Cliff's Notes" and go from there.

• Wednesday was a busy, busy day
• Tiny went back to preschool, Mary and I celebrated with pedicures!
• cooked a yummy, yummy dinner (no really, it's true!)
• cleaned the house (and interviewed someone to help me every other week!)
• visited with friends until midnight
• crashed right away
• Tiny came into our room at 3 o'clock in the morning demanding a drink of water
• we refused to get up, so she began to puke...it was LOVELY
• (she really was sick, yes I do feel a bit guilty)
• I was up with her the rest of the night, bathing and puking, rinsing and wiping, then repeat
• I went downstairs to fetch a barf bucket.
• slipped on my pajama bottoms
• caught myself on the banister and let my toes curl under
• and I broke my middle toe!
• MY TINY LITTLE MIDDLE TOE.
• Not worth a damn thing unless it's BROKEN!

• then it's worth ALL kinds of things!! Like walking up and down the stairs, walking to the bus stop, putting on shoes, driving the car (right foot, of course!), standing in the shower, standing to teach Sunday school, sleeping comfortably, getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, having (or NOT having) sex, getting stomped on by little feet or paws throughout the course of a day, going out to dinner with the family and having to walk across the parking lot and then in between tables all squished together, pedicures, shopping or merely browsing through my Happy Place-Target, playing footsie, chasing after the damn dog when she decides to bolt out the front door, rescuing Tiny when she gets stuck between her bed and the wall (a common occurrence), running to catch the phone...

• And let me just tell you this much: IT SUCKS.

*this was the morning after--and now, three days later, the bruising is OH sooo PRETTY! I'll have to upload some more pics, but that would require walking into the other room to retrieve the camera...and well, I'm just not willing to do that at this point in time!

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UPDATE: (yes, more pictures! this is the only therapy I get!)

*the awful stairs at 3 o'clock in the morning!

I.AM.A.BLOGGER.

I am once again reminded that in order to be a true blogger you must be completely self absorbed. When searching through previous posts from 2 years ago in order to find that really cute haircut...be mindful of those around you.

When they see you laughing, when they see you shaking your head, when they hear you say Oh MY HELL (besides knowing that you are from Utah) they now know you are shallow and self absorbed--so much in fact that you will tune out the rest of the world so you can completely lose yourself in your past musings. They now know you have a serious attitude problem and a tendency to insult others and divulge their secrets,* and they will leave you feeling alone and guilty.

Now I'm not saying you should stop blogging (that would be blasphemy)!! All I'm sayin' is that perhaps you might want to wait until you are surrounded by the privacy of your own home before you start flippin' page loads, revealing yourself to In Real Life friends that could leave you feeling exposed and vulnerable (though they should know by now that you will be blogging about the whole situation an hour later)!!

*But do you think they realize they are no longer safe from the random thoughts that pass through my mind and into the world wide web purely for my own entertainment and self satisfaction? No? OK let's just keep that between us. Thanks.

UPDATE:
After reading your comments, I guess I could just be more specific. After all, it's not like my friend Mary wouldn't know I was talking about her if she read my post!! So here's what happened:

We were at my friend's house getting my hair cut and colored, but I forgot to print out the picture I had in mind. I knew I had a picture on my blog from a couple years ago though, so I began the search while she and Mary chatted over breakfast. Meanwhile I became LOST in my earlier posts...searching for the one with the cute haircut, I kept reading my past musings and completely ignored everyone else! (You have to understand, our kids were there, her kids were there, total chaos and uproar with 5 little kids and a dog; meanwhile I'm just sitting at the computer laughing and having a good time!...don't mind me!) After a while I realized I was the only one there! So after finally finding my picture, and insisting that they come see my blog, my friends seemed a bit...miffed? (in a "roll your eyes" kind of way), and it became clear to me that they sooo do not understand the vanity of a blogger! It takes a special person to be so self-absorbed! : )